Ok.. well I've been avoiding lj lately because of some dramas I unfortunately got involved in.

It all started when Kaede said that Diane was pregnant. In my mind I was like, "What?!" I couldn't really believe her and Kaede confirmed that Diane sounded serious when she said it to her. So I'm in an even more 'WTH' state. I didn't really believe it, or couldn't believe it, so I let it be. I thought many things: one, she wouldn't tell me, maybe in a few months, probably or she might have told Rei, Sunny, or Maxyne. What shocks me more was that she told Kaede, someone who she had made fun of during the year and doesn't necessarily want to be around with too long. Then in a few days I asked Maxyne if she knew because during senior year, Diane was distant with me and stopped talking to me.

Suprisingly, she doesn't know. In turn, I shock her too...So I decided to ask Rei, but Maxyne did it before I did.. "Its ok, " I think, " because then its only between our group." I didn't want to start a gossip I wasn't even sure on. (I think you can tell where my confusion is starting now, right?) Later on, when Max, Rei,and I are talking together and figuring out what to do, I fidn out Rei told Melissa who probably passed it on to a few other ppl in the Honors part of our class in high school. I didn't express my WTF because I'm hoping they knew that spreading it out more or telling it would cause more trouble... Hopefully, I'm hoping right..

Plan was: confirm more with Kaede. When that time came, I asked and Kaede told me all she knew. I know it sounds mean and like the trust isn't there within friends, but its unbelievable that it seems like trust isn't there anymore, you know? SO, the next plan was to ask Diane. I asked because it wouldn't make sense that somebody else knows, right? That means, people know o.o; Trying to make it discrete, but then how discrete can it get, when it might get suspicious. ( Right now, I have a feeling that she knows already, so what the hell. )

I talk to her and all she tells me are the names and like I asked Meg and Naddie, what would you take it as? I'm slightly shocked, confused, and wondering why she doesn't wanna say it directly? I mean, really. I would congratulate her if she's happy about it, but you know it would be hard to tell if she really was.. right? I mean, having a baby and in a relationship, that's something o.o; Plus, not married. o.o; I'm thinking the baby's are fake; she's also majoring in biomedical engineering. It could be possible, right? However, with what Kaede said that she's shopping for them.. I'm wondering. SO I asked Diane, "I heard from Kaede that you're pregnant... is that true?" She takes a long time to answer and says their names. I awkwardly asked, "Like.. fetus ones inside you..?....." I know its pretty stupid, but its me, what can I say? Its vague. Should I take it as it is or not? Its all going down to what she thinks about friendships, which I don't know. All in all, seriously. She doesn't want to talk to us. She lists us as a 'top friend' yet doesn't say anything to us. I know her family goes first, but what does that make friends, just people to joke around with? She says that she's hapy with her relationship and her boyfriend is 'what she ever wanted.' Honestly, something is amiss. *sighs* Sorry, for blabbering, but I'm confused, sad, and on the verge of deleting her from facebook or on my msn at least.. but not until I confirm it...? There are still many other questions. I know I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I don't know what to do



Another one that I hope I don't get too deep in, is one concerning the one I told Meg and Naddie about the sickness. He got back and is depressed because of his sickness and being dumped. He feels like he doesn't have friends because his friends hang around the guy who dumped him. So, he asks to hang out with me. Honestly, its a surprise because I dont' really know him much. It just strikes me a bit odd, but I don't think I should think about this too much as the other situation, right? What makes me worried is that I can't really help him x.x; Not much of a good adivce person.. or confiding in... x.x;;

Other than those dramas, I'm trying to stay positive, even though it somewhat hurts me. I was hoping I would avoid dramas.. but luckily this is one I can somehow maturely solve through; unlike the other one I experienced.

So lately, I've been putting off my final draft that's due tomorrow. hahha. Stupid procrastination that's not my friend anymore -3- Yeah.. so I'm gonna be working on that all day tomorrow -3- and maybe I have to get an extension for my final draft to be due on Monday >.>; End// P.s> I might be a little hyper/giddyish because of my flurry of emotions if you're talking to me >.>; please mind that x.x;;;