Chapter 19
“Where are you going?”
Chase stopped in the middle of gingerly sliding the door of the patient room open and turned to find Sam, who had moments ago been sleeping soundly in the chair beside the bed, awake and watching him as he had attempted to leave the room unnoticed. Her hand remained clasped loosely with her daughter’s, whose little chest continued to rise and fall with the slow breathing one adopts while asleep. Chase smiled as Sam rubbed the sleep from her eyes with her free hand.
“I was just going to get some air,” he lied. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”
Sam nodded and readjusted her body into a more comfortable position in the chair before allowing her eyes to slip closed once again. Chase stepped out the door and closed it silently behind him. He headed towards the elevators, but when he stepped into the small compartment, instead of pushing the button for the lobby so he could go outside, he pushed the button that would take him to the maternity ward.
It was barely seven-thirty in the morning, but the hospital halls were already bustling as the food carts pushed by cafeteria workers were unloaded, one breakfast tray at a time, into the patient rooms. He waved at the nurses he recognized, realizing for the first time that he didn’t know any of them by name. How could he have worked at the same hospital for four years and not learned the names of any of the nurses, especially when they were the ones looking after his patients while he and the diagnostic team were holed up in the office doing differentials and beating their heads against the wall? Appalled with himself, and armed with a new determination to learn as many hospital employee’s names as possible in the very near future, he arrived outside the room of Lisa Cuddy.
The light was on behind the closed blinds, so he threw caution to the wind and knocked softly on the cool glass door. Movement inside the room showed him that his boss was not alone and, for a moment, he considered turning around and booking it down the hallway, not wanting to bother anybody with his morning visit. Deciding against it and staying put, he ran a hand through his unwashed hair as the door was opened and Wilson’s face appeared in the gap.
He looked, self-consciously, back and forth down the hall, sure that everybody there was watching him and knew exactly what he was there to talk about, but found nobody staring. “Well, I was in the vicinity.”
Wilson nodded and gave him a weak smile. “I heard about Lyla. How are she and Sam doing?”
“Good,” Chase replied, “great. She’ll be released today, we reckon.” He shuffled his feet a bit, and he became suddenly aware of the fact that he was still in the clothes he had put on the previous morning while dressing for work. He felt dirty and unkempt, and wanted nothing more than to save this conversation for a time when he looked more presentable, but he knew that there was no reason to delay. He wouldn’t change his mind, not on this one. “I was, uh, wondering if Dr. Cuddy would be willing to see me. I have a…matter I wish to discuss that I’d rather keep private, for the moment.”
Wilson considered him with raised eyebrows, obviously curious about what the younger doctor could have to say that couldn’t wait. “I’m sure she’d love to see you. She just finished breakfast. Come on in.” He stepped aside and let Chase pass into the dim room where Cuddy lay propped up in bed with pillows behind her back, little Eva asleep in her arms.
He hovered by the door, not sure whether or not he should intrude on the scene before him, but the nod he received from Cuddy gave him the answer he needed. Approaching the side of the bed, Chase looked down at the sleeping infant, regarding the perfect pink bow of her upper lip, the dark tuft of short curls on the top of her head, so much like her mother’s, and a nose that could have once been set in the middle of the face of a baby James Wilson. “She’s beautiful,” he said with a soft smile.
“Thank you,” said Cuddy, looking up as she heard the door to the room slide closed, Wilson giving a small wave on the other side before disappearing from view. “It seems that my husband has left us alone, which means you have other motives for visiting me than meeting my daughter.”
“It’s true,” he confessed, once again running a hand through his mop of blond hair. “I’ve made a decision, and I figured that I should talk to you about it, seeing as though it affects the hospital.”
Cuddy sighed and looked down at Eva. “I must admit I’ve seen this coming,” she said, drawing the blade of her forefinger across the softness of the baby’s cheek.
“You have?” asked Chase, surprised by her response.
“Well, it was only a matter of time,” she replied. “You’ve been in your position for four years, longer than any fellow in the history of House’s department. You can only take so much Gregory House.”
“I think you may be misunderstanding my reason for being here,” replied Chase, shaking his head. “I have no intention of leaving House’s team. If it’s still possible after what I’ve presented to you here, that is.”
Cuddy tore her gaze from the baby in her arms looked up at Chase. “I’m sorry. I just assumed. Go on.”
Chase stood for a moment, hands in the pockets of his wrinkled slacks, not sure of where to begin. While he was sure that this was what he wanted, he was also aware of the fact that it had been an extremely snap decision, one that would affect his life and the life of his family. He hadn’t even spoken to Sam about it, knowing that her mind was occupied with the health of her daughter. But he knew in his heart that she would understand, and would support him no matter what he did, and it was that thought that allowed him to begin.
“I’ve been thrown for a bit of a loop in the last twelve hours,” he started, lowering himself onto the doctor’s stool that sat beside Cuddy’s bed. “Being thrown into a situation like I have, taking on two daughters and a wife all at once, has made me realize the things I had been missing in my life up until then.
“As you know, I was once on track to become a priest. I was in seminary school when I decided to leave and become a doctor, and my faith has been put on the backburner since then. I’ve tried not to think about it, tried to convince myself that I didn’t know whether or not God existed, whether religion was something I wanted in my life. Last night made me realize that I do want it in my life. When I learned that Lyla’s life was in jeopardy, without a second thought, I got down on my knees and prayed, and I knew that God would be there to answer those prayers.”
When he looked up at Cuddy, who was watching him curiously, he knew that what he was saying wasn’t really for her, but for him. Saying it aloud only solidified his feelings, gave him the strength he needed to ask for what he needed from her, and he knew that everything would be alright.
“Dr. Cuddy, I’d very much like to take on the role of chaplain at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, as soon as possible.”
