I just feel so bad right now.

Moments like these make you notice, if you're important to anyone - or not.

How can I tell you that problem.. it's just that 'somebody', some guy, well he hurt me. Physically, mentally. No relationship, just some guy who works in the same supermarket.
I think, you can imagine what I mean? We were just the last ones to leave the parking lot that night.

Yeah, that is what he did to me. And that's just what happened once before, another man, another nightmare, but I will not tell about that now, that's just much too long.

I've been emotionally instabile before. Having feelings I just can cope with and all that kind of stuff, but... this was just too much.

I hurt myself today, like I do nearly every day, but it was really different today. I dunno how to say that..

Yeah, and the more important problem is, that a friend of mine, really a soulmate (at least, that is what I thought), doesn't seem interested in that at all.
I gave some hints on that, she could've understood, perhaps she did, I don't know. And I feel so bad to be concerned about that, I should not expect things like that, you never know what any other person thinks about you. But it hurts so much, makes me want to cry all my life...
Perhaps she actually can't stand me at all.
But I feel so alone right now, and with her acting like that, it's just another time to notice that there is nobody there.

And that's so hard to understand.