Ah, the first day of my senior year of High School. It was like being in a dream. I realize now, that all those years I spent hoping and wishing for the day that I would be one of those 'cool' kids who only had one year left, were wasted. I see that I'm on the verge of nothingness. At the beginning of a life of deadlines and expectations that I don't know if I can live up to.

I don't want it to sound like I'm hopeless or just going through some end of school crisis, but I don't know any other way to put it. Its apparent to me what my teachers and authority figures want me to do once I am through with school more than ever. They might as well be cramming college applications down our throats.

I do want to go to collage some time in the future. After my 3 years and 7 months in the army, I would like to major in art or journalism. I still find myself at a cross rodes though. With all this propaganda to attend college, get a job, and get marred, I feel like an outsider. It has never been my dream to have a normal life. If I could do what I want, even if I was poor at the same time, that would be my heaven.

I don't really have a point to make in writing this blog, I just really needed to get that out there. Not every one can have the 9 to 5 life, and not every one will be content with that. What I'm trying to say is, its OK! Its ok to want to be something different, or something that the general public would see as a failure. Be what ever the fuck you want to be, not what other people expect you to.