Britain.

It was bitchin'.

Though the beginning was kind of a bitch. My dad had to drive me 3 hours to Kansas City on December 26th, because that’s where my flight departed from. That day, it was supposed to snow earlier on. My dad just did not want to drive in the snow, even though we would be on the highway and it wouldn't have been that huge of a problem.

But it didn't snow on the way there, which was awesome. However, it did start snowing when I was checking my bags in and shit. LOL.

The bag check-in line was obscenely long. They had only one person running the counter for coach/economy seats, and they had three people working the business class people (which there wasn't anyone in line for). Eventually, they ushered people into the business class line, but by that time the flight was half an hour late. Oh well.

Eventually got on the fucking plane. I was nervous as shit, as I have NEVER flown before. I was insanely nauseous the entire flight, which was like 2 hours I think.

I arrived in Detroit's airport, where I was to wait for Matt so we could be on the departing flight together to England. Had to wait about 3 hours, so I got on mobile IRC and chatted shit up. By the time he came, my battery was pretty dead, so I just called my dad and said it was about time to go.

Matt is pretty kewl, but he has a fucking iPod. That makes him gay. It's an iPod shuffle though, which makes it a little less gay.

Anyways, after buying cigarettes for Paul's parents (lol) at the Duty Free shop, we boarded the plane. Originally we weren't supposed to sit next to each other, but the lady next to me noticed we were together and asked if we wanted to switch. We said sure and gave very many thanks.

8 hour flight of us being smartasses later, we arrived in London, Gatwick airport, were I got harassed by immigration, because I was truthful and said "I'm coming here to visit my boyfriend" instead of "Oh, I'm just a tourist!” They thought I was gonna move in forevers and steal someone’s job because I'm also unemployed. They asked me where I got the money for the trip, seeing as I was unemployed. I explained that I had JUST got fired due to illness shit like, 5 days before the flight, and that my friend Matt had paid for it and I was going to pay him back later.

They told me to sit down and they went to go ask Matt twenty questions. The dude came back (which I'm going to add, was a bitter cripple bound to a wheelchair) and asked if the phone number that Matt gave him was Paul's phone number. I said yea. They called him up and asked him 20 questions, but he confirmed my story. At the same time, they were deporting some woman back to America because of some letter she had had some incorrect info. That was kind of nerve-wracking.

Cripple dude came back and said I was free to go, gave me my visa and shit, and told me to pick up my luggage. Which I did. I met up with Matt again, and we tried to find some place for Paul to pick us up at. We had to borrow someone's phone and call him and ask when the fuck he was gonna be by. It was gonna be like 3 hours lol.

We went for some coffee, and just kind of chilled out in random places till he showed up. I was passing out by the time he picked us up, but when I saw him come down I was like :D. There was much hugs to be had.

And then there was the 3 hour drive back to Paul's house, lol. I kept falling asleep for like 10 seconds at a time, and would wake up, having no idea where the fuck I was. Paul had to make a stop and get something to eat and drink because he was passing out as well. He's so adorable.

Eventually we made it to his house. We met his family, who are all lovely and very silly people. I love them. A few hours later, I passed out on their sofa lmfao. Paul ushered me to bed and I completely crashed.

The next week was awesome and full of sex. We went to a zoo that had lemurs that were trying to tackle us, to a living museum full of stuff (lol), and bowling. I didn't bowl though, Matt and Paul did. I would tickle Paul whenever he didn't get a strike. He's so tickly and cute.

The entire family and us went to this Chinese restaurant. Paul ate like a million plates of food and it made me want to die. I had like three plates and it was two more than I usually eat rofl, but it was yummy.

We also went shopping a few times. I got a purple strap-on from Ann Summers lmao. It has dumb little flowers on the side.

New Years Eve was the best though I must say. I was supposed to go back on January 2nd, but Paul's parents really really wanted me to stay for longer, which was surprising. They asked me to get out my passport. I showed it to them and his mom started laughing.

"Hun, have you even looked at the date on your visa?"

"Huh? No."

She handed it to me, and I died. Immigration totally fucked up and gave me a visa until January 2nd, 2009. A full year! We started planning for me to stay longer then, and for Matt to stay a few more days as well, as they didn't write down a date on his visa.

We proceeded to get drunk. A pint and a half of gin, two glasses of champagne, a bit of absinthe, and some fireworks later, I was very lol. Me drunk is just me x2.

Paul and Matt set up beer pong and began to play while I just loled at them. A game and a half later, Paul was rolling on the floor dying. Me and his mom had to pull him up to the bathroom so he could puke and laugh. Yes, puke and laugh. By now I was sobered up a bit, so I made his bed for him so he could go crash in it. Matt pissed on the keyboard.

We got Paul downstairs and his mum forced some water into him before I threw him into bed. He kept apologizing and I was just like "lol its ok." It was cute. Eventually we passed out hard.

I woke up the next day to seeing Paul putting a keyboard into the dishwasher. I didn't get an explanation for that until a few days later (Matt pissing on it).

We proceeded to make some plans for us to stay longer. Paul suggested I stay ten more days. Matt could only extend for two more days, as his birthday was on the 6th. He called his parents, and they said sure. He fixed his ticket. I then called my dad and asked him. He surprisingly said sure (I think it's because I changed the airport from Kansas City to Wichita, so he wouldn't have to drive another 3 hours lol).

After I got off the phone, we had a mondo group hug. I can't really remember what we did after that, except go shopping a bit. Matt had to buy a new keyboard (lol) and gifts for his family.

We played strip poker. I lost first. >:(!

Next day, we had to take Matt back to the airport so he could go home. It was pretty disheartening, Matt was pretty depressed about it and was in near tears. He rushed away from us to security so we wouldn't have to see him upset. :( Paul and I then went back home and passed the fuck out.

I can't remember what happened the next day, but the day after that, we caught a coach to London so we could hang out with Paul's friends, Kyle and Anna. They were kewl. We went shopping and had lunch/dinner/something at a ramen shop type thing. I was the only faggot not using chopsticks lmao.

We then went to this three level sex shop. It was amazing.

We also got some soaps and shampoos at Lush. My god that place smelled insane. I almost died of smell overdose.

Soon we went home and passed the fuck out some more. That happened a lot.

The next few days, not much happened. We mostly stayed inside because I had gotten sick. Paul's brother made the entire family sick.

The day before I went home, Paul, his brother and I went to an American Diner (lmao). We got lost on the way a bit, but finally made it. It was very yummy. The girls next to us were amazing. When we were about through with our meal, they asked the waitress:

"Hey, what's a waffle?"

We all laughed a gang.

The next day I had to go home. I fucking bawled in the airport. I want to stay forever, it was the best two weeks of my life. But alas, shit sux.

9 hours on the plane to Minneapolis/Saint Paul, I watched 4 Disney movies in a row. Jungle Book 2, The Aristocats, Emperor's New Groove and The Rescuers. I don't know why I did that to myself.

Finally landed, got harassed by customs a bit. They went through my backs because they saw I was nervous lol. I explained to the lady that I was still pretty nauseous from the flight, and I get anxious really easily. She was just like "lol need a trash can?"

After that, I went through the metal detector, which beeped of course. The woman was like "I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA BEEP." Cunt. I went back through, pointed at my pants, which have a lot of metal doodads on them. I went back through and it didn't beep. She then tried to make me go through the wrong line until I pointed out my stuff was on the other line lol.

Finally got through, called my dad and called Tad and told him them what time I was supposed to be in Wichita. I had a 5 hour layover, so I found a power socket and plugged my phone in and got on mobile IRC for like, the entire time. I went shopping a bit, got this pretty purple velvet scarf, and these plush dogs dressed as a pirate as gifts to Tad, Sage and Shane.

5 hours of wandering around and mobile IRC later, I got on the plane and got nauseous again, thank god the flight was actually 20 minutes early then scheduled. Came down, met up with my dad. Tad, Sage and Shane showed up later. We got my luggage and talked for a while. I gave my crew their dog plushes. Then I went home, got online for a while, and passed the fuck out.

Next day, I was still jetlagged. Today, I'm okay.

And here I am.

I miss England. I miss Paul. I miss Matt. I miss Paul's silly family.

I hate it here.