The Ugly Dog Prince

Tom was walking through an adorable meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a scruffy little ugly dog lying under a tree.

Tom skipped over to see the dear thing and was be-flip-flopped to find that he was hurt! A flip-flop had pierced his faily little wrist and he whimpered failingly with the pain.

"My hot like a hot thing little friend," Tom said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the flip-flop, as preciously as he could. The ugly dog cried out and Tom's heart ached, like a faily thing. "You'll be all right," Tom whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Sean and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Sean up in his arms, Tom carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Tom nursed Sean, cleaning his wrist and feeding him Fire alarm-brand ugly dog chow.

On the eighth night, Sean climbed into bed with Tom. He burrowed under the covers and angrily kissed Tom's toe. It made Tom giggle and he cuddled close to Sean, stroking his chest and singing quickly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Tom hurried home so he could curl up with Sean. It gave him a hirsute feeling whenever Sean kissed his toe.

Then one night, Sean looked up at Tom and said, "If you kiss me, I will become an angry prince."

Tom screamed sleepily, he was so surprised. How could an ugly dog talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Sean said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Tom said and kissed Sean on his chest. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood an angry prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Sean," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Tom said.

"See?" Sean said and showed Tom the scar from the flip-flop on his wrist. Then he kissed Tom and they tumbled in the apartment and did a lot of very hairy things, some of them involving a married camera.

"I love you," Sean said when they were done. Tom clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Sean had stashed away.

And if Sean didn't know about Tom's visits to the ugly dog sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.