Title: A Meeting with Lucy and Amy
Author: DaSolution

Fandom: DEBS
Pairing: Lucy/Amy
Rating: R 

Summary: Takes place after Amy and Lucy runs away.  They're currently living in the mountains near Barcelona but me and a DEB member were able to find them.
Author’s Note: Please read and review, that's all.  Thank you.

“Well here’s the place, did those two people really think they can hide from me?”

“No but they’ll find out the hard way that no one can run or hide from you sweetie.” Max said followed with a smile.

“You mean us.” I said then gave her a quick peck on her lips.

Some of you might be shock to find out that Max has turned against the DEBS organisation and instead joined my organisation. It wasn’t as hard as you might think even though Max was very dedicated to DEBS. In fact most of the work was already done by the organisation itself!

The DEBS organisation was constantly giving praise to tall and blond Amy Bradshaw for everything. She was basically their prized Barbie doll. This really didn’t sit well for Max since she was really the brains behind the DEBS Sector 1 group the she and Amy belonged to. Many in the organisation considered Max to be a borderline-psychotic, ghetto-fabulous bitch even though she made her group the most highly successful group in the organisation.

When I kidnapped her they didn’t have an assembly meeting like they did for Amy, they didn’t have a tribute like they did for Amy, they didn’t have nowhere near as big of a manhunt search as they did for Amy, and they didn’t even have her kidnapping on the front page! It was in their newsletter but it was on page six! I showed all that to her and she was shocked and angry. All of this was boiling inside that pot of hers for a long time, all I did was add a few small ingredients and opened the lid. I seduced her a bit, but I didn’t have to do too much for that. Now not only do I have a partner-in-crime but I also have a partner-in-bed.

As well we were able to find out where they were hiding partly based on reliable sources, the other part was that Amy told Max about her dreams of going to art school in Barcelona all the time. They had used false identities to enter in the country, Amy was Linda Griffiths from Canada and Lucy was Conchita Consuela Esmeralda Guadalupe Rodriguez from Panama… It was night time and being a man of the night, breaking in the cottage worked in my favour. Max was more of a morning person but she was able to hang on. I was able to pick the lock on the door without detection because the security in the cottage was for shit. For a so-called ‘criminal mastermind’ like Lucy she should know better than to have the house unsecured.

She was not a criminal mastermind, she was just damn lucky! I killed off her entire family and muscle her out of business. I also took out her punk-ass partner Scud and killed most of the people in her organisation. I’m surprised that she had enough money to afford a cottage. She’s good at hiding but that’s about it. If Max didn’t mention about Amy’s dreams and if I hadn’t hacked into the Spanish Immigration server we would have never found Lucy and Amy.

We knew that we were in the right place because there were cats in the house. Let’s face it; a lesbian couple’s house is not complete without cats in it… Plus we saw various lesbian and vaginal artworks in the cottage as well as picture of famous dykes such as Ellen Degenerate, Rosie O’Donnell, Melissa Ethridge, etc. Yep this place is pretty much a Pussy Palace. We found Amy and Lucy in the living room watching some Spanish movie. They didn’t know that we were a few metres behind them.

“Are you ready Max?”

“Yes I am” she said with her usual assurance.

“Good, I’ll go after Pussy, I mean Lucy and you go after that ugly bitch Amy.”

“Yeah, she’s ugly alright but all the men wanted her because she’s blond and she wh…”

I had to quickly hush her before she goes into one of her rants, it’s one of her quirks but I can live with it. “Sssh, don’t worry about all that, it will be over.”

“Sorry baby” she said with some sadness. I reassured her quickly that it was OK.

“Don’t worry baby, let’s focus on the task in hand. We’re gonna take out those dirty, disgusting, deviant dykes!”

So we got about close to them and pulled out our guns behind their heads.

“It’s time for us to straighten your dirty dyke asses, you tortilleras!” I said rather loudly.

When Lucy and Amy heard that they turned around and were shocked to see us. Lucy was trembling in fear and so was Amy but Amy was also shocked to see Max pointing her gun at her.

I said to Lucy “Remember me Pussy Sapphire! You should.”

There were tears and anger on her face, she had a furious red color to her usual tan face. “My name is Lucy Diamond! And how could I ever forget the man who brutally killed my parents and my brother right in front of my eyes? You even taped my eyes so I have no choice but to watch it. I have nightmares about it to this day.”

I chuckled a bit remembering that moment and said to her “I sure did.”

Stunned to see her ex-best friend pointing her gun at her she asked Max “Max, what are you doing here with him?”

“I came here to kick your dyke ass! We were never really friends as far as I’m concerned. I was more talented than you were but I never got any of the praises that you got. So you’re the perfect score, hah! That’s a mother fucking joke!”

“Perfect lezbo whore is more like it.” I said.

“You don’t call my baby a lezbo whore you homophobic bastard!” Lucy said.

I punched that fish taco-eating bitch with my right hand and told her “I can call that carpet-munching bitch whatever I want, you douche-bottle drinking, salmon-smacking, shameless, deviant Sapphire-slut! I should have killed your gay ass first before your parents, but usually I like to save the best for last.”

“How did you know I was a lesbian back then? I was just a kid.”

“Easy, by the way you acted as a child, you had ‘fish taco lover’ written all over you.” I said to her remembering when she used to dress more like a boy.

She was getting mad at me and had I not pointed my gun right at her face she would have tried to take me on, however she knows that I’ll kick her gay ass all over the place.

Amy tried to talk Max out of this by saying “Look Max, I know that I got a lot more attention and praise then you did but I never wanted it, in fact I never really wanted to be a DEB.”

Before Max said a word I said “Let me handle it Max. Look you ugly-ass bitch my girl was better than you in every way imaginable, especially better looking than you. So you just shut da fuck up or else I’ll kick your tall and lanky lezbo ass around and there ain’t nothing Pussy Sapphire here can do about it!”

Lucy got very upset and tried to swing a punch at me but I blocked it and punched her right at her face. Max punched Amy at her face and she was dazed a bit. Then I kicked Lucy in the stomach and then gave her a spinning left kick at her face. Max was beating the shit out of snowflake Amy with a few jabs and then she grabbed the vase and smashed it on Amy’s head. I grabbed that pussy juice-drinking bitch Lucy by her hair and then slammed her through a table. Both were now too hurt to do anything.

I got my set of barbed wires and tied them with it. They were bleeding from the barbed wires piercing through their skins but I didn’t give a shit. I had to tell them a few things, “I was hired by the Schaffers to wipe out your entire family Pussy Sapphire.”

“It’s Lucy Diamond, stop calling me that!”

“Whatever Pussy. I know you have a Sapphire Sisters ring.”

“I don’t wear it all the time, it brings a lot of unwanted attention, if you know what I mean…” She said to me while looking at me with steaming hate. I didn’t pay her any mind, it wasn’t worth it.

“As well I’m glad that you’re finally here so I can finally kill of the last remaining Reynolds member. I also killed off the Schaffers after they tried to cheat me out of my money for killing your family. They had a gay son and I tortured that flaming faggot to death.”

Lucy didn’t say anything knowing that it wouldn’t do her any good. Then I gave her the John McEnroe Special which was a backhanded left-hand slap to the face. Max got some pliers and used one of them to squeeze Amy’s nose. Amy was screaming and hollering.

“This is for having an ugly nose you cunt-licking bitch!”

“Yeah rip that pussy-sniffing dyke’s nose off!” I said while strongly encouraging her.

Unfortunately she didn’t rip her nose off but Amy was in pain. While we were in the house we look around to see if we found anything interesting. I was taking a look at the ‘Canadian’ passport wondering how they pulled that one off.

“Your fake name is Linda Griffiths?” I asked to Amy rather puzzlingly.

“Yes it is.” Amy replied.

“So what’s your pet name, Lianna?” I said and me and Max laughed. Neither Amy nor Lucy laughed at my joke one bit.

However I was examining the passport in more detail, it was sloppily made. “This does not look like a Canadian passport. Me and my crew could have made a better one than this.” I said to Max.

“How do you know honey?”

“Trust me, I know how a Canadian passport looks like. The paper they used is wrong, and the photo is placed in on the wrong place. If they tried this in the States they would have been busted. Let me show you how a fake Canadian passport should look like.”

I showed her my version and she was rather impressed.

“I made so many of these I can make a Canadian passport in my sleep.”

Later on in our search through the house Max found Lucy’s Sapphire Sisters ring.

“Wow it’s big and beautiful!” Max said.

“Was that ring really important to you Pussy?”

“Yes it was. It means more to me than all the diamonds and other jewellery I’ve ever owned.”

“Well too bad, it’s Max now.” I said rather harshly.

“We will take it to a jeweller and he or she will have it redone for you baby.” I said to Max.

Max got very happy about it and suddenly hugged me! I liked he affection and all but we had work to do so I told her to save it after we finish off those Tuna Queens.

During our talk Lucy looked at me and said “Do you think you will always get away with this? You will meet your end sooner or later.”

“Shut da fuck up bitch! There will be a better chance of Jordana Brewster and Sara Foster being a real-life lezbo couple than me meeting my end. As cute as you are it’s a shame to see a good pussy like yours getting wasted, you cunt-juice drinking mother fucker. Mother Fucker would be appropriate for the two of you dykes because let’s face it all dykes fantasise about fucking their mothers.” While I was saying that I was thinking in the back of my mind ‘I know I would have put it to good use…’

So I went into the kitchen and found a small glass cup, smashed it into tiny pieces and forcefully put them in Lucy’s mouth. Then I forcefully shut her mouth, when she opened it again her mouth was very bloody and she was crying.

“Hahaha, so much for being a long-haired bulldyke!” I said mockingly.

“Leave Lucy alone!” Amy screamed at me.

This girl isn’t as boring as I thought. I went up to her and said “Look here you titties-sucking, pussy-fingering, carpet-munching dyke, you ain’t worth shit! You ain’t nothing but a flat-tit, iron board-chest, waif. Let Max here demonstrate to you how flat your chest really is.”

Max came out with an iron and when Amy saw that she was terrified. Lucy had her eyes closed so I got some tape and taped her eyes open, just like that day when I killed her parents. I knew she was gonna make a lot of noise so I went and got two nasty rag (the rainbow flag), wiped cat shit with it and stuck it in both of those bearded clam-munching mouth of theirs. I also ripped Amy’s shirt and removed her bra so Amy was topless by then. I could barely see her breast. Max then put the iron right on her tits, making sure that it touched the nipples. Amy was screaming like crazy on the rag, and we (me and Max) were laughing like hyenas. Amy was crying obviously but so was Lucy since she had to see the love of her life getting hurt. However we weren’t done yet.

I pulled out one of my favourite weapon, The Solution. It’s a modified cricket bat with a titanium core in the middle so it will have a stronger effect of straighten out those sexually confused nymphos. I got it from my trip to England. Lucy’s eyes grew big when she saw it and she started to scream through the rag. I pulled up Lucy by the hair and was ready to beat that bitch’s ass.

“Here’s something that can show you a good time, and it’s my bat The Solution.”

Now she was really terrified.

“This is for trying to hide your gay ass you puta… CRACK!”
“And this is for escaping me that day... CRACK!”
“And this is for flapping Amy’s tortilla… CRACK!”
“And this is for being part of the Sapphire Sisters, Ms. Pussy Sapphire… CRACK!”
“And this is being a big-ass dyke… CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

She was in seriously pain and I was in serious joy.

Amy said to me “You sick homophobic bastard, I don’t know how you can get your pleasure out of our pain.”

I said to her “Easy when I see dirty dykes like you suffer I laugh.”

Then Max grabbed Amy by the back of her hair and kneed her to the face. Then I gave Max the Solution and told her to beat the shit out of Amy with it. Max said:

“This is for getting all the praises for nothing… CRACK!”
“And this is for protecting Janet’s dumb-ass… CRACK!”
“And this is for being an ugly, skinny, flat, white lezbo-ho… CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

By then both of those mother-fucking dykes were hurt. I told them “No one will save your gay asses. Not the DEBS, not Homeland Security, not Ms. Petrie, not Mr. Phipps, not the Sapphire Sisters, not the Sewing Circle, not AfterEllen(dot)com, not Rainbow Brite, not any other lesbian superhero, not any decent screenwriters, not Screen Gems, not ugly-ass Sara Foster, not Jordana Brewster, and absolutely not that dumb bitch Angela Robinson.”

I was about to finish them but then Max reminded me of something.

“It’s time for me to finish you dumb dykes off…”

“Honey, don’t forget the branding irons.”

“Oh shit, I nearly forgot. Go get them for me.”

So Max went and got the branding irons. She heated them up and gave me one for Lucy and she had another one for Amy. After that we came up to the two Human Lawmowers and burned “TORTILLERA PUTA” on Lucy’s head and “UGLY BITCH” on Amy’s head.

By then I felt like it was time to finish them off so I grabbed a gun in my left hand and Max grabbed a gun in her right hand. I had the gun pointing to Lucy’s head and Max had the gun pointed to Amy’s head, then I though of something…

“Hey sugar, you’ve been beating up Amy all day and I’ve been beating up Pussy all day. Let me shoot Amy and you shoot Pussy.”

“Sounds good boo!”

So we switch places and I told those two Tongue Twisters “There’s only one way to cure those people like you two and it’s a bullet in the head.” So we both pulled the trigger and shot those two at their forehead at point blank range. They were finally dead, thank goodness! However we weren’t done yet.

“Fuck this place, let’s blow this shit up! Remember what I taught you on how to set up explosives?”

“Sure did baby.” She said and gave me a quick hug.

“Good, that’s what I wanna hear.” I said and followed it up with a smooch.

So we set up the explosives in the cottage and as soon as we were a good distance from the place we blew that Pussy Palace up!

Now that we got rid of those two dirty dykes our next target is another dirty dyke who makes bad movies, Angela Robinson…

THE END.