quick update weighed myself at home on friday- 48!! when they weighed me on tuesday i managed to waterload to 52. fuck. anyway it really scared me and i ate wayy too much for past few days barely going to eat this week. hope to be 47 next friday when i go home again. and thats where ill stop. i wont go any lower than that. i dont think. i feel huge. huger than huge. anyways. im back on track. liv...

...eat it whilst shoving it all bit by bit into my pocket! Sneakyyy. Anyway I'm back in Sydney now, just in the car driving home. Appointment tomoro :S Also back to school tomoro. Blahhh. Took my meds this morning- I have never felt sicker all day. Ew. Anyway I'm super tired and can't think anymore so I'm gonna go to sleeppp. Shitttt bit scared for tomoro! Waterload like a mother fucked I say. Liv

... tomoro. Hehe that thought makes me happier. Everything will be ok. Just don't eat. Simple. Can't wait to feel EMPTY. to feel my heart struggling. That when I'll know I know I can do better. I can do this. Not far now. I'm so fat I'm not even going to NEED to waterload next Sunday. IVE HAD ENOUGH. I will be thin. I don't care if it hurts. If it kills me. THIN. Liv (who will never eat again)

tuesday

... this will be a challenge. oh well, i iguess there is only like 2 and a half days of this term left but then theres also the whole of next term too. fuck. i think im going to have to waterload like 3 litres before my next appointment, just to make sure that it definitely looks like ive put on weight.  i can not afford to go back to hospital. also, they are making me go back to my paediatrician for...

mondayy

...i can even watch them do it. hmm so have my weigh in tomoro- planning to drink 600ml of water right before it. that should do the trick. hopefully it works better than last time i attempted to waterload and ended up in hypovolemic shock! alsooo the fat bulimic girl who used to dob on me for hiding food doesnt eat in the health centre with me anymore! yayyyy now i can go crazy muther fuckerr! B...

...don't need your parents to go with you and you can sign out of IP not when you're full weight restored but when they say you're healthy enough to leave. i don't think i need any weight restoration, anyway. i won't waterload, because i can never hold it for that long. maybe i'll get a latte at starbucks before i go in. i want to tell them about my headaches and my sore throat. i feel like crap. D:

... to see the extra clothes weight on the scale.  Now that I think I about it I should have weighed in my clothes so she wouldn't get such a real weight on me.  I have never been one to waterload or be sneaky about trying to make my weight be higher at appointments because I can't stand for the number to go up from when I weighed in the morning.  I also talked to my insurance caseworker today and ...