Ouchie.

..."WTF why didn't you shut off?!" look and see that the lever on the nozzle is jammed. Right, despite gas pouring all over my hands and shoes, this is fixable. And, it was. Very fixable. When it unjammed and snapped back into the off position, the edge of it sliiiiiiiced a nice, deep "I'm a melonballer in training!" chunk out of my left thumb. Right near the nail bed. Also, it got doused in gas...

There ain't no such thing as a free ferret, either.

..., actually, that's what happened in an alternate reality where the alterna-me's sister isn't the sort of person who'd stick her hand in a blender with the express purpose of getting the blades unjammed so that they would begin blending the contents of the pitcher again. What my sister really decided to do was get me a free ferret from the newspaper or the internet. Fortunately, she ran this past ...

My First Spork! Whoop-Dee-Freakin'-Doo!

... need to spork all fifteen, eh? So as I was preparing the “original” manuscript for initial sporking, the printer jammed horrifically. It took ten minutes and a plastic fork just to get the thing unjammed. Then, all of the functional staplers in all the land disappeared. It’s obvious to me that this thing is cursed. Story or Series Title: Simply Pure. Sounds like a brand of bar-soap. ...

It's Friday.  To prove it, the RCS broke, as it is wont to do on Fridays.  The tips got themselves all jammed up, and probe number four couldn't get any (tips). So I unjammed it and sent it along its merry way.  At which point, we find that probe number four is completely off-kilter, and was making a mess and on the verge of messing everything up.  My co-worker, who was running the test, asked if...