Superb farewell letter I stumbled upon...

.... That's not why I'm leaving. The only bridges I'll be joining now are the ones I sleep under when I can't get a job. The only "hot customer Issues" I'll handle are when someone throws a toastada chip with salsa at me. I tell you, you get good at catching food like that, and you can not only earn a paycheck, you can practically knock back an appetizer during your act. You want a call back from me ...