[personal] What I am thankful for

...my cancer surgeon, and so I will be eternally thankful to each of them. I am thankful for all the gifts which cancer has brought me, a malignant Santa Claus come down the chimney of my colon to change my life. I am thankful for my daughter, who reminds me every day that those megayears of human evolution ...

The Universe is a Great and Beautiful Thing [PG-13] (1/2) for pompaddoors

...not living, of just disappearing into a place that nobody knows – that’s pretty unbelievable, don’t you think? For all I know, death could look like Santa Claus coming down my chimney and kidnapping me in his knapsack.” It’s different , he wants to tell her, angrily. Your theories don’t mean shit. Because you...

Who was Christmas of father?

...from money in bottom of the chimney which unloaded in a bottom that...and Blitzen. It is descended the chimney with a large package from toys...an image of an elf as Santa with a long white beard. It drew the similar images of Santa during 30 years. In 1931 Coke...Company engaged an artist to draw Santa like heat, friendly, post hole and...and dodu of today. Since then Santa had a round face and reinforcement...

... caused a slip on my ice, Santa went falling down to his DOOM...ladder and upon stepping on the chimney. He saw "a miniature sleigh and.... Where Calvin went down the chimney, which wasn't much of a...rather confused. What had happened to Santa and who was he? Matter of...was jailed for believeing he was Santa Claus. But with a few ... believed. After seeing and hearing Santa shout, "Merry Christmas to all ...

Xmas jokes...

.... Q: What do they call Santa at the beach? A: Sandy Claus! Q: How do sheep in Mexico...you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? A: Crisp Cringle. Q: ... be called? A: A subordinate claus. Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh? A: Santa caught in a revolving door! Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas ... people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic. Good advice ...

things that make me want to punch a baby

I stole this idea from CH and it is AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! --Santa Claus: This motherfucker tries to front all jolly. He is nothing but scary as hell. Let's detail this out, shall we?    ...sneaks into your house. Any reputable guest uses the front door, bitch. Don't crawl down the chimney like you're trying to stuff my                 stocking full of anthrax. I'm onto...

Fic: A Petrelli Christmas Special

... Simon had left out for Santa over the fireplace.   He had ... that whisky wasn’t normally Santa’s beverage of choice but ...he questioned.   “Is that a Santa Claus outfit?”   He whistled, appreciatively...sooty footprints leading from the chimney to their tree and the...It’s really him!”   “Who?”   “Santa!” Peter exclaimed.   “He’s real...Oh my God! I killed Santa! I killed him! What am...

God

...The holiday of Christmas actually is the celebration of the Roman holiday Saturnalia. So who really is Santa Claus? Is Santa Christian? He couldn't be farther from it. Prior to the Germainic peoples Christianization, Germanic...would fill their boots with carrots, straw or sugar near the chimney for Odin's flying Goat (sometimes depicted as a horse). ...

They're Brainwashing the kids

... the roof and drops the gold down the chimney. He gets caught though, by the woodcutter, and... sets fire to the church and drags ol' Santa to a dungeon prison in a castle on...that he did this. Right, so good ol' Claus lived in Myra, and he'd go to...random giving of the gold to his neighbor. Saint Nicholas was translated to Santa Claus. That's that. So, the movie makers decided to CREATE A NON-EXISTANT...

229 Things Odin Never Thought He'd Say On The Phone

... you got there but you're dressed as Santa and children are crying."   "Why did you let...another and now you're halfway down a chimney."   "Put Bragi on the phone and go put... they have handles."   "Loki was kidnapped by gypsies?  Again?"   "You mixed up Santa Claus and Robin Hood again."   "... it internally.  Did you ingest it internally?"   "Santa won't come unless you hang up ...