HAPPY HALLOWEEN

... lunch - I think I was still full from dinner the night before. And of course bro brought Figo, his 25 pound puppy. A solid mass of cuteness and for a "little" dog he doesn't bite, bark like mad, or is prone to fits of bi-polarness (take that you 8 Pounds of Tiny Terror!!) And yes, my bro & sis in law dressed him up for Halloween. And he loved running around with a cape on. Ding Ding!

The Nothing Journal

... it rained forever on Tuesday and Wednesday, which I am not liking at all. Seriously, weather. Stop it. It was kind of cute when August lasted two months, but now that its October, your bi-polarness is getting annoying. Other than that, not much else to say. Didn't really get to play Kingdom Hearts this week... things have been extremely slow as of late. Uhmmm... I got a wireless keyboard and ...

To love is to love is to love

... of like falling in hate. Weather you hate the fact that your in love and can't get out, your stuck. You hate break ups.  You hate the suffering. You hate the pain. You hate the crazy bi-polarness you feel. You hate your love for doing something. Or, you hate yourself. Either way, love and hate are complete opposites, but relate incredibly. I don't think love with ever change. I don't think that ...

Life...ngh

...next 48 hours. It's a lot of handle. On the flip side I am the new Public Relations chair for Student council. Of course I ran un-opposed which kind of really rocks. Then yesterday I had Vocal Solo Festival and I got a 97 out of 100 on that. That was also a win. And I finally put up my first bandom fic. So there's been a lot of bi-polarness to my week. I'm kind of hoping it doesn't get too bad.

AEFAE - Chapter Ten - Graveyard Confessional

... sane, very sane. I rolled my eyes at my reflection in the rear view mirror. I was a complete and utter mess. I wouldn’t deny it; in fact if I were able to get prescriptions pills for my ‘bi-polarness’ (as if that was a word), I would definitely take them without a second thought. After all the years of feeling alone, I knew I was developing another side of me. A side I wished I could be all the ...

Much suckage as of late...

...that's about the extent of the positives I can see at this point. F rom th e beginning, I didn't want to be on mood s tabilizers. I wanted to be on anti-depressants because my bi-polarness usually showed up in two forms... Irritation and depression. Yes, in my youth I had the euphoric mania that most associate with bi-polar disorder. But that was long ago, nearly twelve years. I feel like the...

blargnessss

... and all he ever says is ill wait! your worth it! and its pissing me off. I keep telling him that im not worth it because hes basically ruining his whole life by dealing with my fucked up bi-polarness. jfivgnfvyhorist. i dont know what to doooo. I like him....but I'm really just not ready for a relation ship. cause im still not completley over what Ian did to me. So im basically just sitting here ...

"My life is a Pop/Punk song!"

... think that I was just the brat in the whole family. I don't know. I told Jordan that my sister doesn't understand whatso whatever. *Shrugs* Am I being selfish about not wanting to give into my dad's bi-polarness? Ah...last time I did that, I was thrown out of the house again. I love how my sister says this, yet she won't come to mom's house after Lloyd came back. Oh but Chickie. Didn't you know...

...Okay. So yes I can say I hate people. But I have never had so much hatered for a person in my life. At one point you think everything is fine, your on his good side. Then in a split second his bi polarness turns out. Holy cow. It hurt's me in a way to know people out there want me to die. But then I think about it why would I care when I just want him to die. Whatever. six days till I leave....

... three seconds later, I'll feel alone and tired and just want to go home. It's really a strange thing to have such bizarre ups and downs--like a delayed adolescence. I'm like an unsick version of bi-polarness. I really do believe it's probably from the experience of living in Paris. I wonder if I could move back here someday. I'm not sure if I would want to, but then sometimes I think that I could...