Things I am tired of hearing in infomercials

(Paraphrased, anyway.) "Are you tired of trimming your cat's claws? It's impossible, and can cause your cat pain!" Or at least it would , if it were possible, I guess..? "The weatherman said there was a 5% chance of flurries." [cut to woman driving her car in flurries] "Well, he was wrong!" I want to say something snarky here, but apparently there's only a 5% chance that people who don...

so I'm watching infomercials

And there's one on for these workout DVDs called Insanity. It sounds really hard. And like a really good workout. They say if you really push yourself you could burn up 1000 calories per workout. I really really desperately want these workout dvds. It's 120 dollars. So I go on ebay and someone's selling it for a dollar. I'm super super super tempted to buy it. They even have a return policy. I ...

MERRY CHRISHMASH: Or Why Sarah Should Not Have Sticky Notes

So it's Christmas Eve, 3:00 in the morning, and I just finished playing some Metroid. Watching infomercials I spy a few post-its on the table. Feeling the muse run through me, I grabbed a pen and began to draw. Oh yeah, I was pretty drunk at the time. I woke a couple hours later staring at my drawings and wondering what the hell I did. I'm sure it all made sense at one point, but that's really ...

reason for the season

...LOVED the snuggie we got him for Christmas! ahahah. I really thought he'd have one already; but to our delight he was like "aww, I actually wanted one of these for quite some time. I see the infomercials all the time" heheh. score! after hangin out with him for over an hour talkin bout matchin clothes, baseketball, igloos, mangers, church, him givin up his car etc, we went to gma's one last time. ...

Yesterday's tweets

... casinos here # 17:34 Health care hypocrite alert: @JohnCornyn has requested $1.11 Billion (with a B) in earmarks last 2 years trunc.it/4bhy5 # 20:01 Just watched a fascinating show about infomercials on CNBC. Did you know a quarter million people buy a Clapper every y ear? # 20:09 More RPI help for #Mizzou? Oral Roberts leads New Mexico by 11 at halftime # 20:26 Please ...

11 >>-------> [voice] the happiest season

[for the record, this sounds considerably more cheerful than those guilt-trip 'the homeless need your dollars' infomercials] Tomorrow--that is, the 24th, for those of you who'll see this late--I'll be spending the day volunteering at the homeless shelter at [address]. For those of you who'd like to come along, feel free, even if it's for less than an hour. Extra pairs of hands are always needed...

Le Literature

...bedroom, and hot wax is murder on the hardwood floors. Of course we will reciprocate, but it will be a bit late in coming because I'm bad at invoicing for work and work is bad at paying me. JetZero whipped us up a couple of custom mouse pads, though, and they are special. I will take pictures later! For now, hot milk with a shot of vanilla extract, then infomercials, then sleepiness, then sleep.

Merry Snugmas to All

... I'm not a member of and it's likely I couldn't even breathe their atmosphere anyhow, let alone mate with their denizens and produce others of the same mindset. But when I first saw the infomercials, they set off a multiround series of spirited arguments between my daughter and I. Picture the scene maybe a year ago. The first Snuggie ads begin to run. Like all of America, I watch and digest. So ...

Infomercials get boring after a while.

From Twitter 12-20-2009

15:30:41 : I wanna go to Sunrise Ski Resort here in Arizona. I haven't been skiing in so long. 16:04:40 : Why is it that infomercials think they can sell anything as long as they have a guy with a British accent selling it? 19:20:01 : Survivor:Samoa finale is tonight. Go Brett! 20:48:23 : Here's @ MichaelParisi with his new cat, HissHiss Kitty. http://twitgoo.com/a5ix4 ...