... i hope the semester goes welll for me schoolastically. secondly: i do feel pretty good in my own skin at this point in time. i mean, evveryone wants to be thinner, but other than that, im doing great. im handleing myself a bit to well..and i dont really know why. i still feel bad for feeling so great..lol, but im so glad that i do feel great. poor leanne called me the other day at one in the ...

Suckyness

... of cleaning supplys so that i could clean it all. But i'm hoping that in a short time me or Jon will have a job, but until then i'm searching for grants that you don't have to pay shipping and handleing to get. God i need money. it really sucks ass. like i don't care who you are i can top you on the missery scale anyday. Then I've also been looking for scolarships that way i might be able to go ...

Hey Ljers, I am back. So Lil is getting the help she needs.  They readjusted her med levels to MUCH higher and she seems to be handleing the whole thing a lot better.  She is slowed down and smiling now.  I really hope that this adjustment is what she needs. As of right now I can visit her for an hour a day 6-7pm... so yeah I'm pretty much not answering my phone near those times.  Beyond tht ...

calling myself on my own shit.

... that he hates me having males friends? not at all. (seriously?! what is the issue? trust me.) Can I hold my own together while he gets racist and homophobic in front of our children? If I am not handleing it with Fiona, what makes me think it will get better when their are 2 or 3 little people listening to his words of wisdom? This is no joke. It is one thing to be completely lost in someone, but...

updates

...it.  I want to have a relationship where i am in it wholeheartedly and i cant seem to do it. I try really really hard and its just not working.  I am self destructing most of my relationships. by basically just being a BITCH.   How do you move forward. How do you change the way your handleing relationships How do you forget about that person ... anybody with answers? Cause i could sure use some.

...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want it to be the holdiays. i want it to be over. i'm sorry, but i am jsut that annoyed with school, and work, and myself for not handleing it all as i should!!!!! WILHEFiehfiehfiehfiwhfishfiLASHFDLIEHFILEHhiewrhfwifewlihrILSHDFLFUKC FUCK I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. FUCK!!!!!!

so

i chickened out went into the bathroom crying and dry heaving called mom went home. went to sleep. wolk up. dry heaved more. ate 2 mellatonins. went back to bed. couldn't get to sleep. and now im here. and i really wanna go back to sleep i'm not really good at handleing anything.

STRESSED

...be Thursday and then Friday I start work at my stepdad's office. I am also exremely stressed because this week is the last week I will see Cody for awhile. It is really starting to hit me and I am not handleing it very well. I hate that we can't see each other whenever we want. It is hard to go from living together to not seeing each other at ALL!!! So much is going on right now and I don't know...

questions

... moniter. "I dont "wave my wand about", dear," he adds condesendingly. "Its a careful swish and flick." "Sorry," i say sarcasm flooding every sylabal. "I guess i dont have as much expirience handleing wands as you do." Gary finishes stalking toward my chair and stops just short enough to loom over me. "Then you need some practice, little bird. I seem to have misplaced all my spares.. so youll ...