Talking with women

... "You screwed up, buddy." You say: "Oh, those shoes don't go with that belt. Why don't you wear the brown ones?" You mean: "I just want to help you look good." He hears: "Aw, the widdle baby can't dwess himself!" You say: "Let's straighten up in here." You mean: "Let's straighten up in here." He hears: "I resent that you're a pig." You say: "I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. You must feel ...