everyone deserves the gift of dongs

Merry Christmas dudes and ladies! Hope your holidays or not-holidays are going well. I was browsing through my folders and got all nostalgic, so today I bring my Pandect friends the gift of "the good ol' days" and my non-Padect friends the gift of wacky superheros and penis jokes. Art done by kawaiiphantom , writing and editing done by meeeee...

Here are some sex toys.

... that are modeled after real creatures? How about a dragon penis dildo? If that's too much for you to handle, there's always a dragon tongue, uh, dildo. Keep in mind, these are what dragon dongs and tongues look like in the mind of a sex-toy modeler. My childhood is ruined. Found in the same sex toy shop are water horse penises. Wait, what the fuck are water horses? I don'...

Eight Crazy Nights: Seven (SV)

... their electronics shorted.” “Oh,” Wally said, in the tone of a man who was listening to a crazy person rant but didn’t have the space to retreat. In an eyeblink, he had a pile of Ding Dongs in front of him, and they began to disappear with equal rapidity. “What kind of a Rube Goldberg plan was that?” John grumped. Clark stuck his head in, because this was the point where he should probably not...

I have the fuck-up chromosome

... the shirt with all the blood. My trip to the supermarket was a disaster. I forgot all my coupons and forgot most of the food we needed so I only bought Comet, olives and a box of Ding Dongs. So we ended up eating takeout with our hands while standing over the sink because we have no decent china or paper plates or utensils. We usually order takeout anyway because we’re men and can’t cook for ...

Smog / Bill Callahan

... по альбомам получается так: * 1993 - Julius Caesar - ужас наф. * 1995 - Wild Love - пока не понял, но звуки забавные. * 1996 - The Doctor Came At Dawn - уже лучше. * 1997 - Red Apple Falls - хорошо/отлично. * 1999 - Knoсk Knoсk - хорошо, но меланхолии меньше, чем хотелось бы. * 2000 - Dongs of Sevotion - хорошо/отлично. * 2009 - Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle - хорошо/отлично.

As vaguely promised

... at a statement of my position on religion that I'm really happy with, and it'll go on the website, and then maybe that will be that. If I was religious myself, I would know that these endless ding-dongs I get into are of no consequence whatsoever, but since I am not, I suppose they will keep happening...but today's Sunday, I'm down and exhausted, and I want a rest. There will be another post on ...

miscellanea

... It's cute. I name a lot of things Poupon. Mostly video game characters, occasionally fish or furniture. Perhaps, though, my honored and trusted colleagues would have better, more fitting names to suit my particular idiom (whichever idiom that is, I'm not quite sure yet) Anything to do with dongs would be fairly apt, I think ITEM THREE, I never learned how to count: I never learned how to count

You sucked your first dick at 47?!

... spambot created specifically to wish me a happy birthday because frequently occurring words and phrases in this thing include: dicks, dongs, dumpers, schlongs, box, snarfing box, asshole, pussy, pussies, assholes, huffing dongs, pussies on the pavement, sucked the balls of a bear, sucked the dick off a dog, sucked the clit...

the american reaction to pleasure

... Andy Warhol, a Pop Shop repro Keith Haring room, a Takashi Murakami room, and an extremely wonderful and explicit Jeff Koons room (which was behind its own closed door with a warning because of ERECT DONGS). They had Made in Heaven (a collection of his sculptures and photography depicting him and his pornstar girlfriend as a modern Adam and Eve having sex) on display, and while James and I were ...

i miss talking about silly fictional dongs :c