.... Why do I do this to myself? and my body?  Poor thing, probably has no idea of what it is supposted to be doing...and the purging. Ugh, it is beyond vulgar but at times I feel completely controless to it. I feel I am punishing myself for making bad decisions of what I have just put into my body. Why cant I just program myself to elliminate those decsions before they are ever made, or acted out. ...