Really Effing Scared

...It's scary as hell. Knowing that I am passing extreme limits with sleep, but I don't try. I'm not trying and I would wish everything to go to sleep. I took sleep aid and that's what lead to the 3 day awakefest. Fest is just to add flare, it was far from a fest. I thought I was going to die for god's sake. This is torture. This is terrible. I don't know what to do. And of course I hate doctors. I...