081207 ~ December 7, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways yesterday, which included my drive to pick up Bart from Dawg's home. Dawg agreed to Marvin's request that Dawg pick up Bart from the bus station. I am glad that yesterday was as pleasant as it was, due in part to Marvin deciding to enjoy some recreational party with me, and my deciding to use all of my funds to contribute, so that now I am broke. I had ocnsidered contributing less, but Marvin thought all would be necessary, and I went along wiht him to be helpful... Marvin had said I could have $10 from him when he got that money from Bart, as Bart said he would pay that toward fuel, but Bart bought beer and says he only has $6 left, which I reminded him about today, so he gave that money to Marvin, who gave it to me. Bart sought to say that he would have had the $10, but he had to buy food. I pointed out to Bart that he could have purchased less than 24 bottles of beer... Marvin inquired about a fine jacket of Marvin's that Bart had taken with him without Marvin's knowledge or consent, and Bart said he had left it behind, though he does seem to now have brand new expensive shoes. I am hopeful that I shall see some income from a job or more immediately from forum members. Bart also said he had had a nice film camera, but that broke also... Marvin was able to work some time yesterday, though Laurelle prefers that he take time off to avoid having overtime. Marvin has yet to receive that check for his previous overtime, which Marvin says that Laurelle says is in the mail. While Marvin worked, I had some time to go to meta-chat, and invited this morning two more people to join a forum. Marvin went to the grocery store this morning, which gave me the opportunity to savor my email, file and respond, and I again applied on-line for that part-time job operating a copy machine. That that advertisement continues to run indicates that the employer is seeking someone who wishes part-time work permanently, but, for me, something is better than nothing, so I applied again on-line today. Bart has gone with Marvin to do some work. I hope Bart appreciates the opportunity that Marvin is providing, that of giving him knowledge from which he could earn money, an opportunity which Marvin has failed to offer to me, though I have expressed interest several times in learning, as I perceive the Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning trade as one which always seems to have job opportunities available.

Marvin was asleep when I returned with Bart from the bus station, and though Bart did wait up a while before going to sleep, Marvin continued to slumber. I stayed up, and then noticed that when Marvin sought to get up to go to the bathroom, that Marvin was extremely groggy, and I was able to catch and support Marvin when he almost fell down, twice... Marvin went back to sleep while on the toilet, and I stayed awake to be sure that he made it back to the sofa okay. Marvin later did awake and was able to get upstairs to go to bed there safely. Without exageration, I sincerely believe I saved Marvin from serious injury at least twice... I doubt Marvin even recalls those events...

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081208 ~ December 8, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways, including a drive to a store with Marvin this morning, which I suspect occurred only to get me off-line, where I was about to fill out a job application... Marvin drove. I did inquire of Marvin as to why he wished for me to go with him, and he said because he wished to look at my face. Marvin insisted on driving, which was a reminder to me that I am unable to leave the vehicle in my name if I were to leave Marvin... Transferring the vehicle to Marvin or someone else could also be problematic, and I would have to actually witness the transfer at the Department of Motor Vehicles rather than assuming that others would do so...

Yesterday, Racer called a few times, and I sought to be helpful to his computer needs. Racer expressed to me that he would like for me to return and be helpful to him again, at least for a couple of months, while he secures his needs in California and then goes to Florida to seek to reduce his things there, to have less to need to ship across the country. Racer expressed that he might like to visit me in Richmond, and I told him that he would be welcome, though I am unable to offer to him a place to stay. I again advised Racer that the Richmond area is very nice to live within, very nice country to see and experience, and that costs here are much more reasonable, less, than in either Florida or California. I asked Racer to let me wait until Friday before giving him a response. Going to California would allow me to retrieve my things from there, or to bring my Florida things to California, so that I could have all of my things in one place. I told Racer that Reg shall be making a counter-proposal to my half-sister today, and that it might be by Friday that we have an answer, either affirmative or negative. I think it would be in my half-sister's best interests to accept my counter-proposal, but I anticipate that she will decline, as she seeks more, and that her seeking more could result in her getting less. I considered that 'liar's curse' (where a person who lies then believes others are lying, even when those others might be telling the truth)could be factoring in, influencing for Marvin to disbelieve that I might be telling him the truth, influencing for him to treat me in such a way that I am influenced to seek to live elsewhere when I am able to do so.

Bart did only his own laundry, and made food only for himself. Marvin ate breakfast by himself, while Bart and I were doing his work collecting outdoor trash. Marvin did go to the grocery store and did spend a bit of the available funds in case Bart were to retrieve his food card... Bart had wished to watch his football team, the Washington Redskins, play an important game last night, and Marvin allowed Bart to watch the first half, and then turned the channel to something else, which aggravated Bart... That influenced for Bart to begin inquiring of Dawg if he might live in the trailer with Dawg... I told Bart that I would be without surprise if Marvin sought to move into the trailer and left Bart and I here to fend for ourselves.

Marvin found he lacked the call-in phone number to retrieve messages related to work when he was on-call in the evenings... I suggested to Marvin that he write the number in the computer so he could access it, and/or put it also in his cell phone, so he could access it, so Marvin chose to only write the number on the wall (which is technically someone else's property). I think Marvin would have received the maximimun benefit from doing all three things, but he chose to avoid doing the things I suggested, what is called shooting oneself in the foot or cutting off one's nose to spite one's face... Suggestions sometimes are appreciated more when they are requested, though, technically, as Racer has said, one shouldn't care from where a good idea comes...

This morning Bart and I went and did the trash collection on the grounds. While our doing this work might result in Marvin failing to gain time with his employer, as he fails to be paid for my work, and it thus costs him his own time on the job when it is being done. However, Marvin stayed at the apartment while Bart and I did his work, so that failed to detract from time Marvin might have spent working. Bart did make an appointment for he and I to go to a personnel agency tomorrow, and we'll be up at 4:30am to do this... Bart also got a reference from a friend to work in a McDonald's fast food restaurant, and I dropped him off at the nearby McDonald's, and Bart came to the Meadowdale Library where I waited with Marvin, and he said he had been hired, and starts in two weeks. Bart wished for us to go to a food bank, though he arrived there at a time when personnel were eating lunch, and so distribution of food was suspended, and Bart did express surprise at this, but Bart did have me bring him to Dawg's where he got a pair of boots from Dawg's roommate that Bart could use at the labor agency...

I got a nice letter from Russ, with a copy of his passing results for his GED high school equivalency test. I also received two nice phone calls from Russ.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081209 ~ December 9, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways, which included an early morning drive this morning to go with Bart to a personnel daily pay labor pool... Bart awakened me around 1:30am, and then took a very very long shower, which I joked, at first annoyed me, and then influenced for me to feel some sympathy for Bart, if some sort of sexual problem was prolonging his shower beyond what might have been viewed as 'normal'... Bart had gone to sleep early while watching a movie, and then had gone upstairs. I watched a show with Marvin and went to bed around 9:00pm, and 'our plan' had been to awakened around 4:00am to be at the labor agency at 5:00am. Awakening and being kept awake starting at 1:30am left me a touch annoyed with Bart. Turned out that that agency begins registration of new people at 7:00am, and then there was a lack of work for both Bart and I there today. However, Bart did call Dawg and got the address of one print shop in that area, which I visited to deliver a copy of my resume. That print shop lacks any openings at this time... There is another print shop, and I shall seek to bring to them a resume of mine tomorrow. I did apply for one more job on-line today... Turns out that that agency supplies boots without charge on loan to people to whom work is assigned, though those people must reimburse that agency for damage to those boots.

I spent some time (perhaps an hour and a half yesterday and today) on the telephone with Racer, helping him to fix problems, one where he found himself unable to generate PostScript files...

I spoke with Reg yesterday, and he said that before he makes our counter-proposal, he shall seek to examine the other four wills, and getting to see them might take some time. I also did take Daniel's advice and requested that I be given a copy of Teresa's deposition. Reg said he refrained from inquiring of Teresa about the circumstances related to my mother's death, saying that lacked relevance... I am uncertain if that lacks relevance, as that is when Teresa had the time to locate five wills, and select one of those to submit, and my mother might have been under some undue influence while dying assisted by Teresa. I do consider that my mother might have fended off Teresa's desire to be a sole beneficiary, but done so subtlely to seek to prevent harm from coming my way from Teresa...

Marvin has had some problems with being eaten a bit by bugs on his back, with his hand and lower arm sometimes being numb, and now a sty on one eye, which he says he lanced, but which has reformed. I have suggested to Marvin that he make good use of the opportunity for medical treatments provided to him by his employer. Marvin took today off as a sick day, though he too also lacked adequate sleep last night. Marvin set up a Christmas tree today, and the bright lights are very nice to see. Bart told me that he did give to Marvin $100 prior to Bart's departure to New York from Richmond, and that Bart offered to give more to Marvin, but that Marvin said the $100 was enough... Bart and Marvin left with the truck to help set up the electricity at the trailer for Dawg...

I am thankful for the pleasant environment and shelter with good food and good rest that I enjoy here with Marvin as a norm. I am thankful for the good health which allows me to easily seek to enjoy life, and for the lack of pain from health issues which I might have faced. I am thankful for the comfort and contentment I can enjoy in life, and I remain hopeful that I am on paths toward long-term comfort and long-term contentment.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.



081210 ~ December 10, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways yesterday, thankful that NapEZY did sent to me $25 for his purchase of a CD with all past forum issues upon it, which I have yet to make. I was able to deposit that check into my bank account, though it will take some time for those funds to become available. I still remain hopeful that some forum members will pay dues, and, if they refrain, then I should more seriously consider suspending publication of a forum once again, perhaps permanently this time. However, should I receive funds from my mother's estate, then perhaps I would be more willing to consider a forum as is, due to lack of my own financial needs and my ease to do so... I am thankful that things are pleasant with Racer, and I am having to consider his offer of having me return to him, as things just seem to be a bit closed to me here in the Richmond area. Marvin is seeking to have Bart with him a lot of the time, helping me to be able to be on-line during the week-day day-time, while providing some job trade skills to Bart. I went to Dawg's this morning with Bart, taking some things Marvin had acquired for Dawg's trailer (another stove, among other things). I am hopeful that Marvin can enjoy this time period with Bart.

Yesterday, Marvin set up the artificial six-foot Christmas tree, and then Marvin, Bart and I decorated it, so that its beauty enlivens up our living room, and can be seen from the outside, which adds to the beauty of the holiday season for all.

I have applied for two more jobs on-line, though I am less optimistic... There are many reports of more big job lay-offs, and Marvin's daughter's husband has been laid off here, causing her to again inquire as to the financial weight I might be upon Marvin, though truly I have contributed financially here significantly, but am unable to do so at this time.

Marvin has been unconcerned when Bart leaves the door open and lets the dog, Richie, loose, and unconcerned when Bart breaks things, but I have a touch of concern when Bart erases missed calls, which could include calls to me related to jobs...

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081211 ~ December 11, 2008

I am pleased to say that I took a suggestion from Bart and began calling the print shops listed in the Richmond Yellow Pages... I seemed to hear the same story everywhere I called: Things are tight and nobody is hiring right now, though one place did say that hiring might happen tomorrow... One place said that they did have an opening, and I did email my resume to that place, among the others... I sent my resume to all places. One person referred me to 'head hunter' for printing, and I left a voice message with that person.

I fixed the upstairs toilet, which Bart had clogged and left that way so that it almost over-flowed, and I later got Bart to seek an application as a used car salesman, though the owner of that establishment was firing a salesman and said he was extremely disinterested in hiring anyone at that moment... Bart also got me to go to two food banks and we got household food, and that there were two of us allowed us to get more food than had there been only one of us doing so. I also stopped at a medical clinic, but found they refrain from doing dental work at this time, having lost the one dentist that they had. Bart was able to download several movies, though something happened to cause the mouse to be much lees reliable.

Dawg called late in the evening yesterday to say that with rain coming today, that he had an emergency need for me to help him drive and make his deliveries for his job. Bart and I went to that day labor agency this morning and took a test to be road construction Flaggers with the Virginia Department of Transportation, and we both passed that test, after watching an instructional video, and we received certification cards. Bart says that if we get assigned as Flaggers, that we could be paid more than normal, Bart and I went to Dawg's after that, and I watched with some amusement as Dawg left to go to work in the pouring rain as if doing so was normal, natural and okay, i.e. without any cause for emergency as he had originally said. I did stay for a bit and helped Bart and Dawg's roommate to clear some nails and things from walls inside the trailer, prior to painting, but the trailer fell off its support, perhaps karma for Dawg having misled me and prevented me from job hunting just to seek to get some free help on his trailer, help which he could have had for the asking without potentially harmful to me manipulation. When Dawg had said that he needed my help, he said he would give me his delivery payments to compensate me for doing his job to save his job per se... I had told Dawg that that would be unnecessary, and that all I would need would be some cigarette money.

Stories while at Dawg's trailer included that a young friend of Dawg's would be moving into the trailer with his wife and two children, as well as Dawg's current roommate, and that a homeless man is staying there now, thoguh Dawg has learned that person served time in jail as a sex offender so he would prefer for that person to leave before the friend with wife and kids moves in... Marvin seemed to have some agitation with Dawg when Bart told Marvin what is going on, as Marvin felt that Dawg should know better, that his plans could ruin or lessen the quality of his life.

Bart told me that he met Marvin soon after Bart's father shot himself in front of Bart. I have come to wonder if Bart might wonder if Bart's behavior influenced for his father's behavior... Bart said that he was seriously depressed when he met Marvin... Bart said Marvin would keep him financially broke and would force himself upon Bart for sex, i.e. Marvin would want to perform oral sex upon Bart. Bart said that he thought things had smoothed over after two years, and so he brought his things from his mother's home to Marvin's home, and then, once his things were in Marvin's home, that then Marvin became more controling and demanding... Bart said that Marvin would assume possession of Bart's things, and that Bart often found his own things missing, which is why Bart removes all of his things when he leaves Marvin's home... Bart said that Marvin loses jobs because of theft and lying, and that Marvin spends all of his money on partying... For what it's worth, while I might find the possibility of some exagerated truth to what Bart says, I can also say that Marvin speaks some truth, and does a good job, is skilled, and has provided food and shelter to both Bart and myself. Bart is now 28-years-old, so one might avoid considering his to be a situation of child molestation. I remain doubtful of harm to 'boys' who claim to have been molested when they travel a great distance to repeatedly enjoy sex with an adult...

Bart and I stopped at a nearby to our home Flea Market as suggested by Marvin, and I found that the computer repair person there would look at the MacIntosh without charge to make a diagnosis. We are now about out of fuel though in the Isuzu...

The clinic had me call a lady to start a registration process, and she did call me back, and gave me a different phone number for me to call to begin a registration process, so that I am on file when and if I might need some medical treatment.

I have caught up somewhat with email, though a late start because of staying at Dawg's and helping with his trailer's needs, and then Marvin was home when we returned and we watched television during lunch.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081212 ~ December 12, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times yesterday, thankful that yesterday was as pleasant as it was, thanks in part to the company of Bart and Marvin, and also Racer, who remained pleasant as I sought to instruct him as to how to put photos into files to present to prospective buyers and clients. Both Racer and I were pleased when he was able to accomplish that task. My being absent has influenced for Racer to seek to learn some things, and he is learning how to do more computer tasks that can be helpful to him... Bart has been able to download movies for all three of us to enjoy from a site called Ares.

Daniel lost the picture of him which I use as one of my alternating desktop artwork pictures. I sent him another copy of that picture, which I have on a CD...

I continue to enjoy the fine food which Marvin takes time to prepare...

Marvin told me that he is pleased with the help that he is getting from Bart to do work and to move things, and hopes that Bart will remain with him a long time in a helpful manner. Marvin says that Bart continues to spend all of his money for recreation. I have advised Marvin to pay his rent in full now that he received his late overtime payment with this check, and to seek to avoid doing the very things that cause him to complain about Bart. Marvin left this morning with Bart, and his work office has been calling him on their radio, which he left at home... It is now just past 10:00am, and Marvin was to be at work at 8:30am... Marvin called me just now to say that he would be returning shortly to home.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


Marvin and Bart returned without any problems to my knowledge, having acquired some materials to use at Dawg's trailer. Marvin was kind and got for me two packs of cigarettes. Marvin and Bart returned to Marvin's work, where Bart continues to seek to be helpful to Marvin. Marvin sent Bart back to the house with the truck to get some tools. Marvin has also allowed other co-workers to use the truck for errands on and off the property. The jepoardy is mine if something were to occur...

I have sent an email to Racer saying, in part, that if I were to return to California that I would wish to resume our prior arrangement. I affirmed to Racer that there are things of mine in both California and Florida which I would like to retrieve once I secure a stable residence. I told Racer that my lawyer has advised me that he wishes to review the newer wills left by my mother before he makes a counter-proposal to my half-sister. I also told Racer that I am continuing to job-hunt in this area and still hope to become established with a stable residence to which my things could be brought... I told Racer that if I were to return to California to be helpful to him, that I would wish to resume our prior relationship, to be paid the same rate as before.


081213 ~ December 13, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways, including going with Marvin who drove in the truck to pay bills and make a payment on his television. Marvin and I stopped and got a few things, and then went to Ollie's, where we got an angel to decorate the top of our Christmas tree and a big round soft puffy Santa which plays a holiday tune... Marvin told a couple of his friends and relatives that I would be returning to California, then go to Florida, then come back to Virginia. I have informed Marvin of my response to Racer's proposal.

I have now called 21 print shops in the Richmond area. I called the print shop where Nick said there was an opening and requested that I send my resume via email, which I did. I wished to get an acknowledgment that my resume had been received and to inquire if I might come in and speak with someone there about that job, but the person, Nick, was unavailable, so I left a voice mail message, and have yet to receive a return phone call. I called that head-hunter again, and again left a voice mail message. One print shop, a Sir Speedy, seemed interested, and asked me to email a resume. The norm is for print shops to tell me they are avoiding hiring at this time, but they allow me to send a resume to keep on file. Job-hunting can be a numbers game, i.e. knock on enough doors and one might open. There could also be an unforseen circumstance that might make hiring someone necessary for oen of the many print shops in the Richmond area. Once I have called every print shop in the Richmond area, I shall return to the beginning of my job-hunt log and start calling them again, and so on and so forth.

Handsome Boo came over in the evening and talked with Marvin, Bart and I for a while. Bart, Marvin and I enjoyed some recreation, but mostly it was a night for me to just relax. Marvin had expressed that he only had enough party material for himself and Bart, so I sought to rest upstairs. I was able to hear that Bart never stopped talking, so that bit of time for both of them was perhaps wasted... I made breakfast for Marvin and myself as Bart slept this morning, and then Marvin left with Bart to do some work upon Dawg's trailer. As I told Marvin, this allows me to seek to savor my email and then seek to go to meta-chat, where I can banter and help bolster a forum... I am most certainly without doubt disappointed that I have yet to receive a single dues payment from forum members now that I have provided my regular address to which payments could be sent... I believe life should be built on fair trade...

I did gather some jokes and sent them to Russ in a letter... I joked to Russ that while I might have thought I had found a terrible job in going door to door in a gang-filled neighborhood at night for the Census2010, that perhaps I had managed to find worse with the job standing outside in the cold of winter guiding traffic... Right now, I view any employment as an improvement over lack of employment...

I am pleased that I was able to be helpful to Daniel by emailing to his niece a copy of that picture I have of Daniel, which is part of my collection of alternating desktop artwork.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081214 ~ December 14, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways yesterday, including driving Marvin to nearby stores for some Christmas shopping he wished to do and for some food items which I bought for our household.

Yesterday was more pleasant for me because I enjoyed many hours in meta-chat, while Bart and Marvin were working on Dawg's trailer, though apparently Marvin did feel some annoyance as he felt he was working alone among many 20-year-olds whose interest there seemed to Marvin to be limited to consuming alcoholic beverages recreationally, perhaps to excess... Marvin said he felt that Bart would do things any way but the way that Marvin had suggested, a trait which both Marvin and Racer have exhibited, though while Marvin and Racer might find other ways to get things done correctly, Marvin felt that Bart would find ways to do things incorrectly... Sometimes I wonder if perhaps Marvin might seek to rid himself of traits which he dislikes when he sees those traits in others... Marvin did get the air handler hooked up and running properly for Dawg, and borrowed a jack which he used to raise the trailer level back up toward its former level, but that jack broke, and today Marvin sought to repair it so that he could use it complete that task of leveling the trailer once again. Sometimes I wonder if those who are good at fixing things have become good at fixing things because they are prone to breaking things, while perhaps those who take care of things are less likely to learn how to fix things precisely because they lack need to do so as a norm.

I am intending to include the following for next month's forum: While it can be commendable for those who are able to seek to help those who have little or nothing, as part of efforts to maintain and improve our world, in some ways this can be akin to supplying another with fish instead of teaching that other to fish... I have wondered if those who are helping the unfortunate might be hurting our world by failing to also help those who are struggling, failing to help those who are good, in the same way that sometimes I think those who are prisoners in jail are being taken care of and treated better by our government than workers, in the same way that those who have jobs are often unable to afford dental or medical treatment while those who are without jobs are given these things... Sometimes I wonder if I am harming those who are seeking to earn a living through fair trade with publications by providing this newsletter to others without charge. I am skeptical that those who fail to pay the $1 a month for this metaphysics forum are unable to do so, and perhaps I should have only a small percent of members who are 'au gratis', given this newsletter without charge, and perhaps in this way gain more perspective and ideas from those who are seeking to make their ways in life on their own two feet rather than prefering to seek to ride upon the backs of others... Be without surprise if you receive a request for dues payment and fail to receive this newsletter thereafter unless you do pay dues. I have kept records of what I have received and from whom... I am sure that I will give credit to those who share items through this forum as active members, as that is engaging in fair trade.

I would like to be able to mention that I received some forum payments, but am unable to do so. I can say there has been a total lack of mail for two days, and perhaps this is related to some protective review now that I provided this physical street address through the current forum, 081204.

Marvin was kind and bought two packs of cigarettes for me. Marvin made a fine wonderful dinner which Bart and I enjoyed, and we watched some television, though Marvin turned off a movie toward its last 15 minutes, which influenced for Bart to go upstairs to his own room... Marvin and I enjoyed two episodes of The Dead Zone, now starting to enjoy season four... I did laundry for Marvin and myself, washed, dried and folded and put away the clothes that had been made ready for laundry and left in the hamper in the kitchen. Bart had failed to put any of his own clothing there, and, if he had done so, I would have gladly done his things as well as my own and Marvin's. Both Marvin and Bart were pleasant company.

Russ called me on my Racer cell phone number, and inquired if I was planning to accept Racer's offer. I told Russ that I have emailed to Racer a response indicating that I might do so, though I would want our prior arrangement to be resumed. I have yet to receive a response from Racer, though Racer has been off-line since this weekend began. I told Russ that I love him, and that his cards and letters help to brighten my world.

I enjoyed a pleasant IM with Zeven, though she seems to remain dissatisfied with her world and reluctant to seek to make change. Zeven reminded me that it can be healthy for one's spirit, mood, to seek to find harmless responsible ways to make oneself smile...

Marvin and Bart have left to do some work, allowing me to update these notes, savor my email, including some nice things for a forum from OLD BRONCO and SIGPAR. I have sent forum invitations to some from yesterday's meta-chat gathering, and now shall return to meta-chat.

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081215 ~ December 15, 2008

Monday morning arrived early today... I did go to bed early last night to be rested when 4:00am arrived today, but I was unable to get to sleep, and found myself as 1:00am arrived. I am thankful for the safe and pleasant drive this morning to go to the personnel agency for daily labor, but Bart and I failed to be selected for job assignments. I figure though, as I told a discouraged Bart, that at least our faces were becoming a little more familiar to those who determine job assignments there. This agency has its own bus which transports its daily laborers to and from work-sites, and receives a payment from those workers for doing so... A nice black man who was exasperated at being ignored for at least ten days mentioned that he too had his own transportation... I consider that those with their own vehicles might be selected against precisely because the personnel agency can make its own money transporting people, so perhaps I shall hedge my listing where transportation is concerned, and say that I "can get" transportation, rather than writing "yes" in that box.

I sent a letter to my on-line 'friends' yesterday, updating them on my job search and hope for some forum payments, something most of them have avoided. To be fair and grateful, a handful of them have made payments, and many of them do share material through a forum which helps to make a forum into a forum that I can present to others with pleasure.

Marvin gave me $10 to take the computer to the Flea Market where a computer repair shop exists. The guy there said a diagnosis is free, but then said, without examining the computer, that he thought the problem required $150 for a power supply... That diagnosis might have made more sense to me if I had an IBM rather than a MacIntosh computer, and if Jairo had actually looked at the computer, as multiple causes could produce the failure of the computer to turn on... I think that if Jairo maintains on Wednesday, when I am to return, that the MacIntosh needs a $150 part plus labor, that then I shall take the computer to another service place and and see if the diagnosis at the other place matches Jairo's... I refrained from giving that $10 to Jairo, and offered it back to Marvin, who told me to hang onto it to apply toward the computer repair cost.

Bart and I did, after three and a half hours of waiting at the first personnel agency, walk to the personnel agency where I had gone previously, the one which had advertised last month but then advised me when I went there to wait until December to register... That agency said to come back tomorrow to register... The first personnel agency assigns a lot of outdoor jobs, so is slack when the outdoor weather is adverse, but this agency assigns a lot of indoor assembly jobs, so would be unaffected when outdoor weather is lousy...

Marvin helped to make sure that I woke up at 4:00am, which was especially helpful considering that I had had three hours sleep at that point. I feel okay, am without a sensation or awareness of being stressed, anxious or worried, but my stomach has been slightly queasy for about eight days now, with a sick sensation in the background of my throat... Today I could taste a little bit of reflux now and then... I have been eating peppermints to keep a nicer flavor in my mouth...

I used my phone's camera function to take some fun pictures of Marvin with Richie, and of Bart with Richie, with Richie wearing a Christmas hat and white Santa beard... I sent these pictures to Bart and Dawg via the telephone, and to my email account, and then today forwarded those pictures from my email account to Marvin's, and have downloaded them to Marvin's computer for him to enjoy.

Marvin's daughter's husband was laid off from his job, and now his property is to be auctioned this coming Friday. Marvin's daughter husband also supports Marvin's daughter's son, and Marvin's daughter's husband supports his own two brothers and his sister...

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081217 ~ December 17, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways, including driving Marvin to Lowe's where he bought a new ampmeter to replace one lost or stolen, though he thinks that Bart misplaced it... Bart and I were going to go to that second indoor personnel agency for daily labor, but Marvin wished for us to instead clean the entire development outdoors, which he joined us in doing for a while. The other maintenance staff members were assigned to heat calls. Though Marvin has often expressed that he is the only one qualified and able to do such work properly, it seems Laurelle felt he could be spared from doing such work while the others were assigned to do those jobs... Bart wondered if perhaps Marvin were getting an extra payment for having us do his work with him. I can see where our doing that work for Marvin could detract from Marvin's being able to spend more time doing work, as Marvin gets paid by the hour... I would think if Bart and I were paid for work we do, then we could contribute some of those funds to Marvin as a household contribution. I said that I think Marvin views our working with him as a way we can contribute to his household. Bart said that he disagrees that doing work with Marvin is contributing to our household... Bart also seems to fail to view his working with Marvin as an oppportunity to learn a job skill. Bart should be able to begin his job with McDonald's next week.

It was a cold rainy day for the most part yesterday as we worked outdoors collecting trash from the entire development. Bart and I worked alone for the last quarter of the development, as Marvin searched unsuccessfully to find his ampmeter which he thought would have allowed him to do other work, and thus he thought he was unable to do any work. Racer called while I was outdoors collecting debris, and I was unable to speak to him at that time. I chuckled at the synchronicity of my being outdoors in the cold and rain while Racer called and might be seeking to get me to return to California. However, Racer never mentioned my return to California, and I wondered if Racer was curious as to my intentions regarding my possessions in California and Florida, and to his own use of those things... I did send to Racer an email note some days ago mentioning my desire to reclaim my things from both California and Florida, and my interest in reclaiming my previous position with my previous salary.

I helped Racer on the phone for an hour today, as he found himself having problems on the laptop. Racer says he has taken a room with a new lover in Palm Springs, and he is content with that situation for now. This lover is different than the one Racer had mentioned previously.

Bart, Marvin and I would return every hour and a half or so to warm up inside. Marvin would put all of our gloves, hats and jackets into the clothing dryer to dry and warm them up. However, there came a time when Bart decided to do his laundry. I was thoroughly surprised when Bart removed my things from the dryer to dry his clothing. I would have thought that Bart could have waited until the few things in the dryer were done, or added to them. I was thoroughly surprised that Bart would be so inconsiderate and so selfish, and am thankful for the warning about Bart with such a small little thing. And, while I might be tempted to remain annoyed, or less than pleasant, I remind myself that it was a little thing, and have sought to go beyond it.

I did get a phone call from that printing head-hunter, who advised me that there could be a position for me in printing outside of Richmond, but who advised me that nothing is happening in printing in Richmond at this time. I have now emailed my resume to this person.

Bart made an appointment for us to get food for three from a food bank handled by the Presbyterian Church, and I drove him there today and we did get ample food from the Stonybrook Presbyterian Church, which was very nice. Much of this food seems to be beyond its expiration dates...

Sometimes it is best to laugh... Bart went to make salad for himself, Marvin and I, and then I noticed that Bart had prepared a separate salad for himself. Upon inquiry, I found that Bart had put all of some items into his own salad, and none of those things into the salad for Marvin and myself. I inquired of Bart as to why he felt that only he should have some things, rather than sharing equally our food. Bart said that if I preferred, I could make my own food. I agreed that I was able to prepare my own, and able to prepare meals for all, but asked the question again ~ why should Bart make himself special portions of food meant for all? Bart got exceedingly upset... Marvin advised Bart that Bart's behavior could bring Bart a penalty in life outside of our household if Bart behaved in such a way in other places, and pointed out to Bart that Bart has already experienced how his welcome has ended in other places precisely because of similar behavior. I can only be a little sympathetic to someone behaving as a selfish bastard and then getting annoyed if someone lets him know that he is known as a selfish bastard. This was a minor thing, but it all can add up... I was amused when Bart was so annoyed with the situation that he washed his own dish afterwards (also unusual)... There is some risk in annoying anyone, versus remaining silent. I have sought to pick small battles to seek to minimize the potential long-term annoyance, while doing as Marvin has asked and help to seek to get Bart to be more respectful of Marvin's household... I suppose that Bart should consider the risk of causing others to be annoyed wiht him, raising their temptations to retaliate, a temptation which I continue to resist, for now, and hopefully, forever...

Marvin has brought to Bart's attention Bart's habit of tracking in dirt from outside, rather than wiping his feet when he enters the carpeted home...

Bart and I did have a talk about how it would be proper for Bart to contribute something in the way of occasional money to help his wife raise their two children. Bart is now over $4,000 behind, and his wife has gone to the state of Virginia to seek help in getting some payments from him. Bart's wife resides in North Carolina. I told Bart that it is an awful thing to bring children into our world without intending to seek to help raise them. I asked Bart to consider how it might feel to be a fatherless child. Bart said he knows how it is to be a fatherless child. Bart's father committed suicide when Bart was 24-years-old, a young adult.

I could be amused that I was seeking to fill out an on-line application for a job as a car rental management trainee, something which I am lukewarm about, but which would be an improvement over my current situation. It has taken me about

I consider that karmicly I am atoning for my own trash when I help to clean this development of the trash of others.

I am thankful that my 24-hour fast seems to have helped rid me of my nausea, and thankful for the good health which allows me enjoy walks with Richie. Bart had also felt sick, and both he and I considered our sickness could have been influenced for by Marvin's habit of using old grease to cook with repeatedly. I am thankful for lack of pain or minimal distress from health challenges I might have faced. I am thankful for the contentment and comfort in my life, thankful for Racer being friendly. I remain hopeful that I am on paths toward long-term contentment and long-term comfort in this lifetime...

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


081218 ~ December 18, 2008

I am thankful for safe and pleasant drives on all roadways yesterday, including driving Marvin and Bart to the Christmas party for the employees of this development where Marvin lives and works. My day was helped to be more pleasant by the nice time I had at this Christmas party, including some talk with Marvin's co-workers and with his visiting boss and local boss. Marvin sought to guide Bart in filling out a job application so that Bart could become a paid worker, though they both had some trouble with items such as the address and phone number her, where I was able to be helpful. Marvin has also decided to seek to become the Maintenance Supervisor here at this development, and this morning I wrote a letter asking for consideration for that position, and emailed it for Marvin to his boss and to the regional manager.

Bart was perhaps a touch too drunk at the holiday party for Marvin's workplace, but we all had a good time. One of Marvin's co-workers advised Bart that Bart seemed to have drunk enough... I advised Bart to seek to be loyal to good people who help him in life, and to seek to develop job skills, so that his path in life might avoid jail. Bart has many similarities to Russ... Bart did mention to Marvin that he would like for his girlfriend to stay with Marvin when she gets released from jail. Marvin expressed that he would never agree to allow Bart's girlfriend to stay with us, and advised Bart to seek to care of his existing children before bringing more into our world.

While I can be pleased for Marvin and Bart, and be glad that I am helpful to them, I am a touch chagrined at my own lack of consideration for employment...

I did call Jairo yesterday, and he told me that the computer was "not ready yet", although all he was supposed to do was to give me a diagnosis and an estimate. Jairo asked me to call again tomorrow, which would be today.

There was a new feature at how the $300 billion to help people being foreclosed upon has failed to help many individuals, perhaps less than 300 of the millions facing or enduring foreclosure. Another report mentioned how the $780 billion bail-out fund is down to $15 billion remaining... I hope that the new administration will seek to promote ocmpetence in the workplace, rather than fostering a new group of worthless beneficiaries, policies which led to the problems we are now facing.

Marvin's daughter's husband has been given a loan by his former boss which can pay-off the amount he now owes, and perhaps restores his job to him...

This morning Marvin put some holiday lights on a long garland around our living room plate glass window frame, and it looks very good. Marvin also added a holiday wreath to our front door, and that too looks good. The holiday spirit has eluded me thus far this year, but I am pleased with this added beauty in my world.

My thanks to Pauline for helping to keep me aware of events in our world, though her focus is primarily upon the Philippines, where official corruption is lending popular support to violent change, as the people are tired enough of the devil they know to welcome a new devil.

I am sometimes amazed at how many interruptions I endure to seek to do what I do...

Lord and allies ~ I hope for only safe and pleasant journeys on all roadways at all times, hope that this day is as pleasant as possible, and I hope to remain guided upon paths of long-term comfort, which includes health that is as good as possible which is as painless as possible, and long-term contentment including happiness and joy. I hope my life enjoys love, kindness, consideration, respect, hospitality, some appreciation for that which I do, and financial fair trade.

Onwards with a smile.


I took Bart to the second personnel agency, and we registered, filling out lots of paperwork. On our return journey I stopped at the Flea Market and visited Jairo, and retrieved the iMac computer, the keyboard and mouse, but forgot the power cord, which I shall seek to return and retrieve. Jairo said that the computer seemed to be broken and failed to turn on.

I spoke with Reg in the afternoon, and he said he was still waiting to see the other four wills left by my mother. I assured Reg that I am willing to continue being patient and doing as he advises.

Bart did go in for his 3:00pm job interview, but was told he would have to come back and take a test at another time. I sometimes am fearful that a place which seems to have all black employees might be reluctant to hire other than more black employees... Marvin was brought to this place by his former supervisor, Lee (a black man), and Marvin is the only white, though there are some Hispanics among employees here.

I spent the day going through email, and have yet to fully catch up. I have completed many on-line surveys and some paid emails, and hope that eventually I shall indeed receive a payment for doing so. I took a break from email to give Richie a nice long walk, something healthy for both of us.

I seme to be lacking holiday cards from forum members, as well as enduring their lack of payment... I did inquire of WHYMASTER if he might let me park a vehicle at his place if I were to return to California. That would be convenient to Marvin once Marvin gets his driver's license restored.