1. What is your real name? Mary
2. What is your birthday? I wasn't birthed. I was hatched.
3. Any nicknames? I'm sure the people that talk behind my back have a few
4. Which is better: summer or winter? winter.
5. Who are your best buds? buds, as in flowers? Yeah, I don't do flowers.
6. How many people are on your buddy list? I forgot to look. bummer.
7. Are you friends with everyone on your buddy list? no, they're my buddies.
8. Whom do you hate? everyone. equally.
9. Whom do you love? viggo mortensen, patrick roy, john cusack, robert downey jr., d.b. sweeney... in that naughty, dildo kind of way.
10. Are you in love? i fell and i couldn't get up
11. Have you ever been in love? never ever. love's icky.
12. Have you ever cheated on your g/f or b/f? nope.
13. Do you regret #12 if you said yes? so you're excluding me, then?
14. Who is your dream date? "dream date"? the one where i get the best one night stand ever and get left with a billion dollars.
15. Have you ever been on a date? like the calendar kind?
16. Have you ever kissed someone? *blushes*
17. Are you a virgin? some days, i feel like i am... or is it weeks? months????
18. If #17 was NO then how many people? one, the "first" technically didn't count.
19. Do you regret losing it so young? how did you know what age i was?!
20. Do you think pre-martial sex is wrong? oh, yes, yes, absolutely. and you should never, ever, date someone 15 years older than you. or marry them. it's just evil.
21. Do you regret dating someone in the past, and wish you were just friends the whole time? well, i do wish i wasn't a dumbass sometimes.
22. Who is your b/f, g/f right now? i can't tell you that, my husband's my friend on here!!! ;)
24. Do your friends annoy you about your sex life? no, i annoy them about my sex life.
25. Do you think what Bill Clinton did was wrong? propaganda. SHENANIGANS!!!
26. Guys: would you have done what Bill did, if you were him? once again, excluding me in my own survey...
27. Ladies: would you give oral sex to a married man? i do.
28. Do you believe in God? sssssss.
29. Do you believe in Aliens? illegal ones.
30. Do you believe in ghosts? my mom scared me into thinking there is.
31. Have you ever seen a ghost? obviously not.
32. Have you ever seen an alien? i grew up in florida, take a guess.
33. What do you think about the Taco Bell dog? never met him, but i heard he had a real bad coke habit. and i'm not talking about the fizzy kind.
34. What is your favorite animal? wolves, and MY dogs.
35. Do you like sports? hockey and football.
36. What sport do you hate? if it was a sport, i would say baseball.
37. What sport do you love? HOCKEY
38. Do you play sports? no. i don't think girls should play sports. unless they're gay, then they should play softball.
39. Which ones? i wrestle once or twice a year...
40. Whats your favorite number? 13, 69, 666
41. Does your favorite # have a special meaning to you? yes, it raped my mother and killed my father.
42. Do you ever wish that you can someday play pro sports? yes.
43. If so which one(s)? HOCKEY
44. Who is your idol? i do not participate in religious activity.
46. Did you like Varsity Blues? i don't remember liking it.
47. Did you like She's All That? once again, don't remember.
48. Did you like any movie that recently came out? i did recently buy the original night of the living dead recently...
49. Why do they always skip a question? who are they and what do they want?
50. What type of music do you listen to? BLACK FUCKING METAL.
51. Do you smoke? of course.
52. If so; what do you smoke? marlboro reds.
53. Do you drink? the blood of young children.
54. Whats your favorite alcoholic drink? beer.
55. What is your bed time? when i'm not working.
56. Do you have a stuffed animal to sleep with? do dogs count as stuffed?
57. What is your favorite soda? <s>mountain</s> mtn dew and all its variations. i used to like mdx a lot, can't find it anymore, though.
58. What is your favorite pizza? italian meat and green peppers. and lots and lots of cheeeeeeese.
60. How many pillows? 1
61. What do you sleep in? a bed.
62. Do you wear make-up? i "can" wear make-up, doesn't necessarily mean i do.
63. Boxers or briefs? no thanks.
64. Can you drive? i am old enough.
65. What do you drive? a rice burner.
66. What kind of car do you have? a japanese rice burner.
67. What is your dream car? one that requires no gas, maintenance, and a laser.
68. Where is your dream vacation? in never never land.
69. Do you like the beach? in pictures, sometimes.
70. Do you like the mountains? i LOVE mountains.
71. Do you love your parents? sometimes.
72. Do you and your parents get along? i don't live with them, so yes.
73. Have you ever run away? in my head. i never returned.
74. If #73 was a yes; where did you go? the same place where my vacations are.
75. Would you ever steal a car? if i could get away with it and not get caught.
76. Have you ever stolen a car? yeah. ten of them.
77. Would you ever kill someone? *sigh* if only it was legal
78. Have you ever been in a fight? every other week.
79. Do you like to fight? if the other person doesn't take it personally and work it out like a decent human being, then yes. so no, i don't like to fight.
80. What is your greatest accomplishment? getting this far without killing those around me.
81. What is your favorite quote of all? wow, that's pretty high and mighty. How about, "you suck at life"
82. Who is your favorite band? used to be Rammstein, and i do still like 'em, but i guess it depends now what i'm in the mood to listen to.
83. What is your favorite movie? zombies.
84. What is your favorite song? misanthropic.
85. Do you have a TV in your room? yeah
86. Do you have a VCR in your room? yeah
87. When do you usually take a shower? when i'm dirty
88. do you like to swim? if i'm getting paid, i can act like i'll like it.
89. Do you like jacuzzi's? are they free?
90. Do you like beer? yep
91. Do you like to fish? mmm, what kind of fish?
93. Do you like any outdoor activities? hiking, camping, being away from the human race.... yes.
94. When was the last time you participated in an outdoor activity? before i left colorado. :(
95. Are you a happy person? for the right price, i'll be whatever you want me to be!
96. Do you have any really depressed friends? i have friends???
97. If #96 was a yes; (insert retarted question here)? well, this one time at band camp...
98. Are you depressed; or have you ever been depressed? never. i love life like i love anal sex.
99. Have you ever commited suicide? yes, this one time...
100. What could be so wrong to try such a thing as commit suicide? i can't answer that, i'm dead now.
101. What is 32+69? too many toes.
102. Gap vs Structure? what the fuck?
103. Tommy Hilfiger vs Ralph Lauren? are these gay guys?
104. Rap vs rock? no.
105. Tupac vs Biggie? sorry, i speak english.
106. Korn vs Limp Bizkit? i thought they were the same?
107. Smoking vs Drinking? smoking the pole?
108. The '60's vs the '90's? clash of the dirty meets flannel.
109. Jimi Hendrix vs Lenny Kravitz? well, since jimi hendrix is ded, kravitz would probably win.
110. Cereal vs Pop-Tarts? yes plz
111. Are you getting tired? of your face.
112. WWF vs WCW? world wildlife foundation versus world class wrestling. hmm.
113. Bowling vs pool? pool
114. Cars vs trucks? monster trucks!
115. Dr.Pepper vs Mr. Pibb? sure.
116. Sprite vs 7-Up? make 7-Up yours!
117. Mountain Dew vs Fresca? it's "mtn dew" now.
118. Coke vs Pepsi? what else is in it?
119. Beer vs liquor? beer.
120. Friends vs g/f;b/f? friends.
121. Chess vs checkers? both.
122. Baseball vs softball? softball.
123. Basketball vs football? football
124. Top vs bottom? depends on who's more attractive.
125. Regular vs bubble bath? where the difference is the bubbles? i shower.
126. Cake vs ice cream? ice cream cake.
127. Chocolate vs vanilla? i am a bisexual.
128. Dancing vs partying? if i'm dancing, i'm done for.
129. Dreams vs reality? reality constantly kills my dreams.
130. Shorts vs pants? pants. my legs are so white they would blind a blind guy.
131. Shoes vs bare feet? as long as they are not flip flops, i couldn't care less.
132. Shirt vs no shirt? i like boobies.
133. Shower vs bath? i am so over this game.
134. Tea vs coffee? coffee.
135. Burger King vs McDonald's? burger king... without the child molester with the mask
136. Chic-Fil-A vs KFC? bleh.
137. Applebees vs Chili's? which one's free?
138. School vs church? neither. they breed ignorance, conformity, and laziness of the mind.
139. Doritos or Lays? doritos.
140. Budwiser vs Coors? coors
141. Couch vs bed? at the moment, bed.
142. Tent vs tree-house? both!!!
143. Sheets or no sheets? no sheetz.
144. Laptop vs desktop? yes.
145. Drunk vs sober? drunk with no hangover.
146. Apples vs oranges? yes.
147. Summer vs winter? wow, deja vu.
148. Snow vs dry? snow.
149. Rain vs sunny? thunderstorms without the power outage.
150. Cd's vs cassettes? once again, i'm a bisexual.
151. Day vs night? twilight.
152. Rent a movie vs movie theater? rent.
153. Wal-Mart vs K-Mart? the wonderful world of wally. kmart is a little TOO white trash for me.
154. Bi-Lo vs Winn-Dixie? awwwwww, winn-dixie.
155. Poker vs rummy? i can win rummy. i think.
156. Hotel vs back seat? my place or yours?
157. Indoor pool vs outdoor pool? indoor pool. the screaming echos, if you catch my sex. i mean, drift
158. Guys vs girls? it's not nice to hit girls.
159. Cards vs computer generated games? if i'm alone, computer.
160. Monopoly vs Scrabble? i can't spell and i suck at monopoly. so either way, i'm fucked.
161. Mario vs Sonic? it's all about super mario world
162. Hot vs cold? cold.
163. Pizza vs sub? i'm picky.
164. MTV vs VH1? vh1 or old mtv... when it was white.
165. TNN vs CMT? what's the difference, besides the country music?
166. Nascar vs Busch (racing)? isn't it the same thing? a bunch of cars making left turns?
167. Christmas vs Birthday? no thanks.
168. Chinese vs Japanese? what's the difference, besides the pronunciations?
169. Sex vs abstenance? sex. lots and lots of fucking sex.
170. Is this too long for you? put it up there and find out.
171. Online buds vs real life buds? my dogs.
172. Chat rooms? i work for a living, but thanks.
173. Yahoo vs eXcite? yahoo.
174. Brandy vs Monica? what?
175. Bill vs Monica? they already... uh... "versed"
176. Saddam vs Fidel Castro? seriously over this versus thing.
177. California vs Florida? they both can fall into the ocean. bye you lizard scum!
179. Radio vs TV? radio.
180. Homework vs classwork? didn't do either and don't plan on ever starting
181. UPS vs Fed-Ex? i like the brown uniforms. it made gary's butt look cute.
182. Delta vs American? delta.
183. Jonathon Taylor Thomas vs Leonardo Dicaprio? yeah, this survey is a bit old, eh?
184. Pamela Anderson vs Carmen Electra? nice to look at, but i'd really rather not touch.
185. North vs south? north.
186. East vs west? west.
187. Canada vs mexico? canada
188. 90210 vs Dawson's Creek? muff munch.
189. Jay Leno vs David Letterman? same thing.
190. White vs wheat? processed or not processed?
191. Paper vs plastic? i kill plastic trees
192. Trojan vs LifeStyles? no.
193. Jeopardy vs wheel of fortune? the price is right.
194. Life vs death? deathdeathdeathdeath.
195. College vs high school? die.
196. Swiss vs American (cheese)? american
197. Tongue vs no tongue (kissing)? i like tongue. more options.
198. Mustangs vs Mercedes' Kompressor? they both say you have a small penis.
199. You have got to be getting bored! and you have got to be running out of questions!
200. Dogs vs cats? MY dogs
201. Where do you live? in my head.
202. Where were you born? carmel, new york
203. Do you lead an exciting life? is there any other way?
204. Do you wish that you lived somewhere else? yeah.
205. Have you ever been on a cruise? i most certainly have not.
206. Have you ever been outside the country? bah
207. What is your boyfriend/girlfriends name? lily and heinz. don't tell gary.
208 and 209 went bye bye: like they offed themselves or ran into a quiet part of the country to make babies?
210. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? i ate your soul
211. Do you eat breakfast? i lurve brkfst
212. Do you go to church? my "church" exists in nature and my well-being.
213. What religion are you? Heathen
214. What ethnic background do you come from? italian and german.
215. Do you like to ride bikes? yes
216. Have you ever rode on a horse? a horse stole my hymen, once.
217. Have you ever been to Montana? no, but i would like to.
218. Have you ever seen a three legged dog? i don't like to stare, it's rude.
219. Do you own any pets? 2. some days, 3.
220. Do you like dogs? MY dogs... isn't this like the 6th or 7 thousandth time i've said that same response?
221. Do you like cats? sometimes.
222. What is your favorite book? casino royale.
223. What would you do for a million dollars? what would you LIKE me to do??
224. Do you have a million dollars? oh yeah, i just work 12 hours a day for my sanity.
225. What color is your bed? uh, bed-colored.
226. What is under your bed? jesus.
227. Are you afraid of the dark? being a creature of the night, i know what lurks out there.
228. Do you use a nightlight? no.
229. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 3: black boots, black skate shoes, and black converses.
230. What is your favorite magazine? marvel comics
231. Do you wear a bra? only when it's necessary
232. Do you wear boxers? if i wore underwares, i would.
233. Have you ever gone commando for a day? since 2003, baby
234. Have you ever met any famous people? ray liotta and allen covert
235. Are you famous? on frasier street after midnight
236. What is your favorite holiday? halloween and friday the 13th
237. What kind of perfume/colonge do you wear? i like gary to wear drakkar noir
238. Do you like Nike or Adidas? adidas... like the old school kind.
239. What brand of clothes do you wear the most? wal mart and ebay. no thrift stores out here :(
240. Have you ever seen the Statue of Liberty? probably.
241. Who gave us the Statue of Liberty as a gift? france
242. Where did the hamburger come from? cows
243. How much money do you have in your room? my room? i don't take those guys on frasier street to my HOUSE.
244. How much money is in your pocket? no pocketses.
245. Are you rich? in the poor kind of way.
246. DO YOU WANNA be rich when you grow up? i'd prefer not to grow up.
247. Can you see your feet when you stand straight? cha
248. What color is your computer? black, like the void in my soul
249. What kind of computer do you own? dell
250. Do you have any piercings? yes.
251. Any tattoos? no.
252. Where is the best place to have fun? the woods
253. Do you wear a watch? i used to, but now i work in food service. so i quit.
254. What kind of toothpaste do you use? the kind you put on a toothbrush.
255. What color is your toothbrush? pink. i shit you not.
256. What is on your mouse pad? Colorado Avalanche!
257. Do you have any fillings? yes
258. Have you ever had surgery? no?
259. Are you happy with yourself? is that really any of your business?
260. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i'd remove the horns and the tail
261. Are you hungry? not so much.
262. What is your favorite food? the kind i make.
263. Do you work out? no, i tuck in.
264. Do you ever feel like you're the worst person alive? i already know it!
265. Are you goody-goody or naughty-naughty? i don't repeat my words consecutively.
266. ever done? once again, not yer bidniz
267. How many peeps are on your buddy list? less than the last time you asked me this question.
268. Are you racist? yep. i hate all races.
269. Martin Luther King Jr. or Jesse Jackson? now i see where that last question was going.
270. Do you like school? no. i hate students, too.
271. What is your favorite college? the blown up kind.
272. What color is your hair? ugly.
273. What color are your eyes? blue-gray
274. What is your height? something between 5'6" and 5'8"
275. What is your weight? somewhere between 120 and 130
276. Do you have a big nose? no schnoz.
277. What are you gonna be in 10 years? a corpse.
278. Can you sing? the question really is, will i? and the answer is no.
279. Can you draw? yes.
280. Can you play any instruments? geetar
281. Do you have a unique feature about yourself? i'm three legged.
282. Favorite subject in school? the kind i could skip.
283. Least favorite subject? the rest of 'em
284. Best teacher? bill hicks.
285. Worst teacher? jesus
286. What is your GPA? lower than the rest of the conform-ites.
287. How often are you online? when i'm not sleeping or working
288. Do you hate chain letters? not as much as i hate the people sending them.
289. Have you ever snuck out? of what?
290. Have you ever borrowed the 'rents car without permission? i have my own that i pay for, thnx
291. Whats on the radio right now? dunno. listening to a playlist.
292. Whats the big news story of today in the world? yahoo is advertising the dethroning of super mario
293. Which is better? what's it compared to?
294. Do you have a good sense of humor? at least i HAVE one.
295. Are you funny? is this a trick question?
296. What are you obsessed with? working, apparently.
297. Do you kiss on the first date? i haven't had a first date in... uh.. a long time.
298. Who is your crush? your head.
299. Where would you rather be right now? asleep.
300. When was the last time that you did something good for someone else? excellent question.
301. I know you've got to be getting tired! aren't you the fucking mind reader.
302. Are you self-conscious, conceited, or neither? all of the above.
303. Favorite month? the one(s) with the extra pay day.
304. Favorite day of the week? off.
305. Favorite year of your life so far? infancy through 6th grade.
306. Favorite thing to do in the summer? blow things up.
307. Favorite thing to do in the winter? blow things up.
308. Favorite candy? panties
309. Favorite gum? stride.
310. Favorite ice cream? mint chocolate chip, cookie dough, heavenly hash
311. Do you like the group 311? not after they remade the cure. cunts.
312. Type of shampoo/conditioner that you use? suave
313. Type of soap you use? i like dial, but i don't always get my way.
314. Biggest loss in your life? my soul.
315. Favorite salad dressing? ranch
316. Favorite pizza topping? this survey wouldn't be so damn long if the same questions weren't here 10 or 12 times.
317. Type of deodorant you use? the clear kind.
319. Favorite web site? coloradoavalanche.com, http://www.metal-archives.com/
320. Most romantic thing ever? hot sex my way, or camping.
321. Where do you work? pnc and sheetz
322. Craziest person you know? myself.
323. Most humiliating moment? birth
324. Have any kids? i do not spawn.
325. Do you want any kids, how many? none. no. no. no. no.
326. If you could be any animal what would it be, and why? a wolf... i don't need to explain myself to you.
327. Favorite smell? drakkar noir, fresh laundry, hockey rink
328. Worst smell? people.
329. Favorite sound? silence.
330. Worst sound? people.
331. Best feeling in the world? isolation
332. Worst feeling in the world? anticipation of the inevitable
333. Best concert you've ever been to? melissa ferrick.
334. Lefty, righty, or both? right.
335. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop? how many grains of sand in a desert?
336. Favorite thing do to on the weekend? not work
337. Have you ever played strip poker? we WERE going to... but andrea pussied out.
338. Skinny dipped? no
339. Whats your zodiac sign? taurus
341. Pen or pencil? if balancing a checkbook or drawing, pencil. everything else requires a pen.
342. Coolest thing about your house? it's cheap!
343. Do you like rollercoasters? i do.
344. Are you afraid of heights? no. i do not like suspended roadways, though.
345. Do you get motion sickness? only when standing still. ha. ha. ha.
346. Ever rode a bull? no.
347. Ever kariokied? a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
348. Do you like thunderstorms? i invented them.
Look, 349 died.. sucker.
350. What color are the walls in your room? which room?
351. Favorite store? ebay. and officialabyssrecords.com
352. Favorite flowers? sunflowers. and dead ones.
353. How do you dress? black.
354. Ever lied? i never ever ever ever ever lie.
355. Ever cheated on a test? only when i would show up to take them.
356. Ever taken a test honestly? honestly, maybe. not seriously.
357. Do you cry? tears of blood.
358. Is your hair long or short? long
359. Most over played song? all of them.
360. Whats a good song that never gets played? the ones i listen to.
361. Night owl or early bird? uh, i like to stay up late.
362. Would you rather be a snake or a zebra? your vagina.
363. Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? i'd fuck the backstreet boys. some of them. maybe not.
364. Beanie Babies or beanie buddies? what. the. fuck.
365. Jeff Gordon or Dale Earnhart? your vagina.
366. Clemson or USC? excuse me?
367. Who has it easier guys or girls? the ones that still live with their mommies and daddies
368. What is your favorite number? for fuck's sake.
369. Have you ever had a 3 some? in my head.
370. Would you ever have a 3 some? in my head.
371. Are you a good typer? superior. and i can speak english while typing, too, which is rare these days.
372. Are you wondering when this will ever end? no, i am aware of the scroll bar.
373. Malls or outlets? no.
374. Washington or Washington D.C.? kill 'em all
376. South Carolina or North carolina? it's the same thing if you take away the border... just the northern end gets more snow. so north carolina.
377. North Dakota or South Dakota? north.
378. Motorcycle or 4Wheeler? jeep
379. Are you confident about yourself? when i don't let people intimidate me.
380. Do you want to go to Antartica? sure. free food, free board?
381. Hawaii or Alaska? i'll take the money.
382. What was better; the U.S.S.R. or Russia? yeah, i'm of the lesser educated here.
383. Do you love yourself? sometimes i like to love parts of me.
384. Are you a homosexual? not necessarily.
385. Ever been in a gay relationship? yeah.
386. Are you bi-sexual? technically, no.
387. I hope 384-386 were: wearing condoms?
388. What do you sing to yourself when you're down? no.
389. Do you sing in the shower? no.
390. What is your favorite Disney movie? pixar.
391. What is the weather like at your house? freezing rain and sleet. good times.
392. Are you having fun yet?! don't threaten me.
393. Do you like Kool-Aid? cool is spelled with a "c"
394. What brand of tissue do you use? i'm sorry, what?
395. What brand of cheese do you have in your fridge? land-o-lakes
396. What brand of milk do you use? the kind in a carton.
397. Were you breast fed? all my life. sometimes still on the weekends....
398. Do you want me to stop? no, i'm almost there...
399. If your life came down to making one decision that would forever determine
your future what would it be and why? what's the decision?
400. What is the capitol of Iceland? reykjavik